Week 1, February 1993
Meehan Auditorium (Providence, New Hampshire)
ATT: 2,964
TV RATING: 0.50
Announce Team: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler & Bobby Heenan
Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show, before introducing his broadcast colleagues for the evening, Bobby Heenan and Jerry “The King” Lawler -
The three briefly run down the matches we will see tonight (focusing on the main event of the Big Bossman and Repo Man since it’s the only match of any note) before briefly touching on the events from this past Mondays episode of Raw -
They quickly recap the challenge that Bam Bam Bigelow issued to the WWF Champion, with McMahon saying that while they have not had word from either Jack Tunney or Bret Hart on the status of that challenge, the Hitman is scheduled to be appearing on the upcoming Monday Night Raw - and Vince is confident that Bret Hart (being the fighting champion that he is) will accept that challenge - a prediction that Jerry Lawler says McMahon should be careful making -
”- because the last man to make that prediction got slapped upside the head by the Beast from the East -“McMahon confirms that Randy Savage did indeed come close to a physical confrontation with Bam Bam Bigelow, so much so that the Macho Man has requested a leave of action for Monday’s episode of Raw, as well as asking WWF President Jack Tunney to review his current contract from commentator to a duel commentator/competitor role -
”- it would appear that Randy Savage did not take too kindly to Mr. Bigelow’s interaction this past Monday Night - and I do believe that he would like the option to return the favour inside the ring - which would require him to have a contract much along the lines of your contract Jerry Lawler -“Lawler scoffs at this - telling McMahon that while he is a King (and more than capable at excelling at both roles simultaneously) Randy Savage has difficulty walking and talking at the same time, let alone attempting to call the matches as well as competing in them -
”- he should just face the facts that the only thing he has to offer the WWF now is behind this desk - and even THERE he’s not very good -“Heenan and Lawler laugh it up at this comment, while McMahon mutters that Lawler had better hope that Savage doesn’t get that duel contract - or he might find HIMSELF slapped upside the head -
Let’s go to ringside -
Rating: N/A
The opening match sees Crush return to action for the first time since a brutal attack from Doink the Clown put him in the hospital back in early January - and Vince McMahon says that it’s only a matter of time before the big man from Hawaii gets those massive hands on that evil clown -
His opponent here is ring veteran “Iron” Mike Sharp - a big man by his own right - but a big man who had no chance once Crush got that vice like grip around his skull - polishing off his opponent in short order with the Cranium Crunch -
Rating: C-
Winner: Crush
And the action keeps on going, as (after a quick advertisement for the upcoming Saturday Nights Main Event) we are straight back down to ringside, where the Steiner Brothers are in action against the duo of Duane Gill and Tony DeVito -
Much as with our previous match, this is an out and out squash -
The Brothers Steiner take great pleasure in stiffing around these two enhancement workers - particularly the smaller of the two (Duane Gill) - eventually, after a multitude of Steinerline’s and Suplexes, Scotty catches Gill with a picture perfect Frankensteiner for the one, two, three, and the victory -
Rating: D+
Winner(s): The Steiner Brothers
From there, the brothers make their way over to the interview podium, where Mean Gene is waiting to get word from them -
Gene says that the pair have been on quite the roll here in the WWF since their debut in early December of last year - they have racked up victory after victory (and have yet to taste defeat) surely they must have one eye on the WWF Tag Team Championships by this point -
Scotty says that you’re damn right they do - he says that they know that Money Incorporated have their hands full next week (what with facing Brutus Beefcake and a partner of his choosing on Raw) and they know that whoever walks out of that match as champions have got the Nasty Boys lined up at Saturday Nights Main Event -
”- BUT ME AND MY BROTHER, THE WAY WE SEE IT- IS THAT AFTER THAT, WE WANT OUR SHOT AT THE STRAPS TOO - AND WHOEVER WE HAVE TO BEAT TO GET THAT, THATS EXACTLY WHAT WE’LL DO - AIN’T THAT RIGHT RICKY -“
“- THATS RIGHT - AND WE AIN’T ABOUT TO STOP UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE WANT - SO WHETHER ITS MONEY INC - THE BARBER BEEFCAKE - OR THE NASTY BOYS - WHICHEVER OF YOU HAS THOSE BELTS IN A FEW WEEKS, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN THE RING WITH THE STEINER BROTHERS -“
It seems like the Steiners aren’t the only brother team looking for a title opportunity - because it’s no sooner are Rick and Scott finished yelling that they are blindsided from behind by the Beverly Bothers -
Beau and Blake take full advantage of the sneak assault, beating the Steiners down to the floor (where they continue to put the boots to them) before calling back a shaken Mean Gene to hold the microphone for them -
They tell Gene (and the fallen Steiners) that everyone knows that the premiere brother team in the WWF is the Beverly Brothers -
Gene (rather bravely considering the circumstances) reminds the Beverlys that they LOST to the Steiners at the Royal Rumble - something that Beau disagrees with -
”- LOST?!? - do we look like the losers here Gene? - or do the Steiner Sissy’s on the floor look like the losers?- I don’t know what match you were watching, but since there seems to be some confusion, I guess we’ll just have to beat them again won’t we -“Blake tells the Steiners to mark their calendar (or count their rocks - whatever it is they do to count their days) because at Saturday Nights Main Event, the Beverly Brothers are going to take them out once and for all -
”- and then WE will be next in line for the tag team titles - you tell em that Gene - when they wake up that is -“Rating: C-
The next match sees a competitor in action who probably found the behaviour of the Beverly Brothers a moment ago hilarious - because it’s time to send in the clowns - or clown at least - Doink the Clown that is - as the resident WWF jester is in action against Reno Riggins -
Vince McMahon condemns the constant recent pranks of Doink as of late, stating that the clown has gone from mean spirited to downright dangerous - Heenan and Lawler disagree however, telling McMahon that he simply doesn’t understand the sophisticated comedy of the man -
Sophisticated comedy or not, there’s no mistaking the facade that slips when Doink steps between the ropes - behind the painted on smile is the scowl of a sadistic individual, who assaults Riggins between bouts of laughter - almost causing serious harm when he refused to relinquish his submission hold the Stump Puller following the bell - yanking back with even more force and a look of sadistic pleasure on his face - before finally relinquishing the hold with a manic dose of laughter -
Your winner - this twisted clown right here -
Rating: D+
Winner: Doink the Clown
From there we head over to the Event Centre, where Sean Mooney is standing by to discuss (amongst other things) the upcoming Saturday Nights Main Event -
He says that Bam Bam Bigelow has staked his claim on a World Wrestling Federation Title opportunity off the fact that he was not offered the chance to compete in the Royal Rumble match last month - well there was another man who didn’t have an opportunity to compete in the Royal Rumble match - not because he wasn’t invited - but because the actions of Doink the Clown put him out of action - and that man is Crush -
Crush says that while he saw Bigelow issue his challenge (and the reasons behind it) while he too would like a chance at the WWF Championship, what he wants more than anything, is a shot at Doink -
”- and clown, I tell you what brah - when I get you in the ring, you won’t have to worry about pulling out no fake arm to attack me with - because I’m going to pull your REAL one off, and see how you like getting cracked in the back of the head - Saturday Nights Main Event - me and you - and you’ll find out why they call me Crush -“
We flick over to comments from Doink now - who (between laughs) tells Crush that he’s sorry if his joke didn’t hit the mark - he was just trying to have a good time - but as for his challenge, he’s afraid he’s going to have to refuse -
”- see the thing about comedy Crush - a good double act, they have to have pizazz - they need timing - they need to stay - fresh - and you Mr. Brah, you’re old news now, hahahahaha - oh I’m afraid you just won’t do at all -“Doink says that he already has his eye on his latest prize - Crush, just isn’t funny - but his next assistant - ohhhhh, he’s going to be dynamite -
Doink breaks out into fits of laughter, before suddenly stopping dead and staring into the camera without so much as a hint of a smirk -
”- but be careful what you wish for - after all, all the worlds a stage - and all the men and women in it are merely players - if you really want to play - it doesn’t have to be in the ring - maybe it can be in the locker room - in the street - in that hotel room tonight when you close your eyes - or maybe - while you’re watching this tape - maybe I’m already behind you - waiting to play - BOO! -“And just like that the hysterics begin again - as we go back to a confused Sean Mooney, who says he doesn’t know if that was a challenge being accepted or not - but speaking of challenges, the Native American Tatanka challenged the Heartbreak Kid to put his Intercontinental Championship on the line - let’s hear what Shawn Michaels has to say about that -
What Shawn Michaels has to say about it (long story short) is no - at least not yet anyway -
”- ya see Tonto, what you fail to understand while you talk about your little undefeated streak, is that winning a few matches in the space of a year doesn’t make you worthy of a shot at this title anytime soon - in fact, the way I see it, I don’t see ANYONE in the WWF that’s worthy of a shot at the Heartbreak Kid -“Shawn tells Tatanka to keep on plugging away though - and maybe somewhere down the line the Heartbreak Kid will grace him with a match -
”- I mean, it won’t be for the Intercontinental Title - and you won’t win - but still - just being able to say you shared a ring with the Hearbreak Kid is a win all by itself -“ 
After being assaulted during his match on Monday Night Raw - an attack that left him on the losing end against Papa Shango, El Matador certainly has words for The Narcissist-
Tito tells Luger that if he wants to sit around and admire himself then he can do that in the back - the ring is for wrestling - and since The Narcissist wants to involve himself in Tito’s match, then how about they HAVE a match -
”- at Saturday Nights Main Event - Narcissist, you hit me in the back of the head with a forearm, well I’ve got a forearm of my own with your name on it - so leave the mirrors in the back, and let’s see what you can do face to face - OLÈ! -“
And finally - The Berzerker? -
I won’t go too much into the Berzerkers nonsensical ramblings - the gist of it was that he wanted an opponent - any opponent - and he doesn’t care who - essentially he levied an open challenge for anyone to face him at Saturday Nights Main Event -
”- HUSS - HUSS - HUSS - HUSS - HUSS - HUSS - HUSS - HUSS -“Alright that’s quite enough of that -
Back to Sean Mooney - who closes out the segment, reminding us that Saturday Nights Main Event is only three weeks away - before sending us back to the announce team -
Rating: B-
Where Tatanka is set to square off against Terry Taylor -
This one is less of a squash match than our previous matches have been, with Taylor at least managing to get some offence in - that being said, Terry Taylor in the WWF never really ever managed to wash the stink of the Red Rooster gimmick of him, and he really should have probably remained in WCW where he at least had limited success (as the Taylor Made Man and Terrence Taylor in the York Foundation) because Terry Taylor in the World Wrestling Federation in 1993 is just a bit - meh -
That being said, he does have a competitive match - even if the commentators spend the majority of it discussing Shawn Michaels refusal to face the Native American for the WWF Intercontinental Championship-
Obviously Vince McMahon believes that Tatanka has MORE than proved himself here in the WWF, and would be a fine opponent for Shawn Michaels - Lawler and Heenan predictably disagree - with Lawler saying that the last the the Intercontinental Championship needs is to be dragged off to some Native American Reserve, only for it to get stained with Buffalo blood and Eagle faeces -
”- you can’t just wash that stuff off gold you know McMahon - it tarnishes! -“ Poor PC etiquette not withstanding, this match is halfway decent - eventually Tatanka picked up the win with the Papoose to Go (Samoan Drop) for the pinfall -
Rating: C
Winner: Tatanka
Which leads us into our main event - and the entrance of the Big Bossman as he gets set to face the Repo Man -
As he makes his way down the aisle though he’s met by the laughing figure of Doink the Clown, who appears to be all kitted out with oversized police officer hat and utility belt -
McMahon said that Doink made mention of finding a new “partner” earlier this evening - could the Big Bossman be the person he was talking about? -
Bossman briefly stops in his tracks as Doink springs out in front of him, telling him to - “Stop! In the Name of the Law!” - whilst pointing his fingers at the big man from Cobb County in the style of a gun - Bossman looks at this sight for a brief second, before shaking his head and attempting to shove Doink to one side -
Which is when the Clown whips out a can of what appears to be Mace -
THAT stops the Bossman in his tracks - Heenan says that Bossman knows exactly what that mace does to a person -
”- he used to abuse people in prison with it after all -“
“- HE DID NOT! - but be that as it may, it’s certainly got the attention of the Big Bossman -“Doink feints with the can a few times - pretending to spray it at the uneasy Bossman, before finally holding his hands up and telling the Bossman to pass -
And then spraying him in the eyes anyway -
The Bossman flinches and clutches at his face in pain - briefly - before stopping and blinking (with harmless water dripping down his face) at the figure of Doink on his back on the ground laughing hysterically -
Heenan and Lawler are laughing uncontrollably too, calling Bossman a big dummy for falling for it -
”- it was just water McMahon! Doink would never mace anybody - he’s all about the fun! -“Harmless fun indeed - Doink crawls up the aisle (laughing too much to possibly walk) as an irritated looking Big Bossman continues to the ring for his match -
As I was saying before Doink rudely interrupted us - the main event of the evening sees the (now slightly damp) Big Bossman, facing off against the Repo Man -
Much like with our previous outing, this was a much more open affair than the earlier matches of the evening, with both men getting their moment to control the contest -
Perhaps the Bossman had slightly more to prove here after coming in off the back of a fairly decisive loss to Bam Bam Bigelow at the Royal Rumble event a few weeks back - but whatever it is, it was the Bossman that picked up the victory, polishing off poor Repo with the Bossman slam -
Rating: C+
Winner: Big Bossman
Bossman celebrates his victory, before heading over to the interview podium, where Mean Gene is standing by -
Gene says that the Bossman requested this time to speak - so why doesn’t he tell everyone exactly what’s on his mind - Bossman looks confused for a moment, telling Gene that he didn’t request this time - leading Gene to question what exactly they are doing here then -
The answer is soon revealed, when the music of Brutus Beefcake begins to play, as The Barber cuts and struts his way over to the interview position -
Beefcake says it was him that requested this time - and it’s Beefcake that is specifically requesting the Big Bossman -
”- because I’ve got a match (and a shot at the WWF Tag Team Titles) against Money Inc on Monday Night, and I need a partner -
Now Ted DiBiase and IRS said I could choose ANY partner I wanted - and Bossman, I want you brother -“Gene looks as surprised as the Bossman is, but he quickly retains his composure -
”- how about it Bossman - there’s a tag title opportunity up for grabs, are you going to take Brutus up on his offer? -“Bossman barely hesitates before answering - he tells Gene that everyone here in the WWF is here because they want to be a champion - HE wants to be a champion - so yes, you can bet your behind he accepts -
The two men shake on the deal, as Vince sends us back down to the commentary team to close out the show - with McMahon wrapping things up, telling us to be sure to tune in Monday Night - because we have a WWF Tag Team Title match on our hands -
We’ll see you then -
Rating: B
Final Rating: C+
annoyingly though, Duggan would probably have a huge impact on the WCW roster right about now considering the gulf in their mid to upper midcard