Josh Spicer's Quick Rebookings - The Invasion Redux

Royal Rumble
January 21, 2001 - Live from the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, LA

Business as usual continued with the WWF. Barring a promise to open  the New Year's edition of Raw that WCW would never be mentioned again, there was never any semblance of any indication in relation to the recently dead promotion. Whether this left people disappointed or eager for more is not for us to decide.

Following a Lo'Down victory on Heat over Kaientai that earned one of them a shot in the Rumble (more on that later), we started the show off with a bang.

The recently concussed Dudley Boyz reclaimed the Tag Team Titles over Edge and Christian following a hard-hitting and very dangerous contest that ended with a resounding 3D. Afterwards, a couple men were seen in a penthouse with some championships sitting on a table. JR and King made no mention of them directly, but the Dudleys seemed surprised to see them. (For those unaware, they were the WCW World Tag Champions, Sean O'Haire and Chuck Palumbo aka The Natural Born Thrillers).

Following that, business picked up considerably when Y2J regained his Intercontinental Title following a star-making phenomenal Ladder Match with Chris Benoit. Both men put on a clinic and a no-doubter of a 5 Star Match. Backstage, following the match, Jericho was met with someone JR and King called a "fan". The "fan" held another peculiar championship around their waist and interrupted Michael Cole to try and get an impromptu interview. They were promptly dragged away by security. (For those unaware, this was WCW US Champion Hugh Morrus [yes that is his actual name]).

A Women's Title match between Ivory and Chyna ended in disaster when a cartwheel elbow went awry. Chyna tweaked her neck in a bad spot. King left commentary, and with the aid of EMTs and Billy Gunn, got her on a stretcher to the back. If I'm not too worried about her, than I'm sorry, but it's quite obvious this is a work. I'm curious where they'll go with it further though.

It's the WWF Title Time as Kurt Angle, with Trish Stratus in his corner, defends against Triple H, with Stephanie in his corner. These two men put on a pretty good match that worked out well despite it being heel vs. heel. HHH, of all people, came out the defacto face, despite him attempting homicide a year or so ago, but I guess murder is cool in the WWF? Anyway, the match came to a close when Steve Austin, said victim of said attempted homicide, cost HHH the match with a shot with the title and a Stunner while Earl Hebner took a concussive nap. Angle retains the belt.

Over the course of the night, two things occurred that had lasting effects in the Rumble Match. First: K-Kwik was attached backstage by a masked man. Nobody is sure who he was, but the fact remains, a Rumble slot is open thanks to K-Kwik's injury. Meanwhile, Lo'Down spoke to Mr. McMahon directly and were informed their spot went to Drew Carey instead, who was visiting (and promoting his improv special later that week). Why he was given this spot, I don't know, but Drew "Curry" (as Tiger Singh called him, ugh) is now in the Rumble.

The Rumble itself was an awesome match for sure, another 5-Star Match for sure. Kane was the runaway MVP, eliminating ELEVEN people total to smash any possible record. Man survived the Hardys, Drew Carrey, the Honky Tonk Man, and a bunch of hardcore shenanigans to make his way into the latter half of the match, when The Rock came out and things got serious once again. At #19 we got our second surprise in the form of Booker T?! He came out with his WCW Title, music and pyro included, to everyone's shock. JR and King only called him by his name and referred to his "Big Gold Belt" as a "World Championship", stating he was only the second reigning World Champion to participate in the Rumble Match (second to Hogan in 1990). Booker lasted pretty long in the match, eventually befalling to both Kane and Undertaker, who teamed up to take Double Chokeslam him and eliminate the champion. A bit later, following HHH getting revenge on Austin by attacking him during the latter's entrance, we had our third surprise when Haku (formerly Meng with no mention of this or his WCW Hardcore Championship which has seemingly been abandoned) made his WWF return. He quickly formed an alliance with Rikishi, his Pacific Island brother, who came out at #30, as was his right in winning the match earlier that month. The Undertaker lasted a bit longer in the match before the same masked man who attacked K-Kwik earlier in the night appeared from the crowd. Undertaker was beaten down for a few moments with a tire iron, and was distracted and wounded long enough for Rikishi and Haku to eliminate him. Haku and Rikishi didn't fare too much longer, having been promptly eliminated by Rock and Austin respectively.

The final four now decided, Rock and Austin (bleeding profusely due to HHH's attack) had a confrontation before brawling. It was a distraction by Austin that allowed Billy Gunn to pop off a couple punches and a Fameasser to Rock. Rock tried to get up, but Kane threw the Great One out to the surprise of the crowd. Gunn tried to prove a better chance, but an errant Big Boot by Kane led him into a Stunner and a toss out by Austin. Kane and Austin brawled for a minute or so before Austin got a chair, blasting Kane three times before clotheslining him over the top to win the Rumble Match for the third time and seal his shot at the title at Mania X-Seven.

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No Way Out
February 25, 2001 - Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, NV

After a match on Heat between The Hardys and Rikishi and Haku that ended following a Swanton Bomb to the Tonga superstar, they brothers were promptly beaten up afterwards by a pair of returning superstars, who delivered Double Chokeslams to both Jeff and Matt. Cole and Tazz only mentioned them by their WWF names, Bryan Adams and Brian Clark, but otherwise didn't refer to them in any official capacity as Kronik. That's par for the course as to how they've handled things recently with WCW talent coming in. Kronik, the Unofficially Named Team (shortened to...well, you can figure out), don't do much else beyond that. They do send out a quickly shout-out by pointing to a skybox featuring the Thrillers and Booker T.

Before any action occurs, we get an answer as to who will be replacing JR tonight...and it's TONY SCHIAVONE?! Wow! Tony makes his return to the WWF. For the record: he's actually pretty neutral tonight. When any WCW guys show up, whether they were formerly have been WWF guys for a while or are just recently appearing, he shares to the world their accomplishments and tries to get the WWF fans to give a damn about 'em. Whether he succeeds or not, it's not for this WCW diehard to know.

The night starts off with some Hardcore Title chaos. Big Show and Raven duke it out for a while, fending off appearances from Crash Holly and Steve Blackman. After hitting a Chokeslam to them through a couple tables, Kidman debuts during a Chokeslam. He dives off the top rope with a chair to the back of Show's head. This allows Raven to pop-off a kick to the big man's balls before hitting a Raven Effect onto a trash can. Raven is momentarily surprised by Kidman's appearance. This stunned distraction is enough for Kidman to hit a Shooting Star Press to the giant (to the crowd's apparently pleasure). To Kidman's assurance, Raven covers Show and retains. With Tony waxing admiration for Kidman as a performer, it's King who first brings up their history as The Flock. Well THAT'S different.

The Fatal 4-way match is next and after a damn near no-doubter between Y2J, Benoit, Eddie, and Pac for the IC Title, the match is dragged down a bit by the countless interference by X-Factor. Benoit and Y2J manage to take Albert and Justin Credible (who debuted a couple weeks before...damn ECW hasn't had a show in a bit, weird), leaving Pac to try and pin Eddie following an X-Factor. Unfortunately, it's actually Chavo Guerrero (no Jr.) who pops out and drags Pac out of the ring. He is quickly swamped by security, who start to drag him away. Pac tries to pop back in, but Eddie rolls him up, getting his legs on the middle rope while Y2J and Benoit try to fight to stop him, to no avail. Afterwards, Eddie escapes quickly with his new belt. He stops security and tells them that Chavo is with him. With another WCW guy debuting, Tony lists off his accomplishments, with King being the one to mention his connection to the Guerrero family.

Backstage, we get a shot of the masked man who's been around the WWF recently. He blindsides Test with his tire iron, attacking his leg and taking him out for a few moments. Not long after that, Regal meets with Vince, who tells him to "do the right thing" in regards to Trish and Stephanie tonight. Regal leaves more confused than anything.

Speaking of that, it's two women who can't wrestle. Look, I could joke about how this match was a stinker and that neither women should appear in the ring ever again, but this was actually a pretty entertaining affair. They hid their minimal abilities with chicanery and shenanigan (and apparently water buckets because WWF amirite?). Regal popped out whilst the ref was out and helped both women. Eventually, he seemingly chose his path and rose Trish's hand...before hitting her with a Regal Cutter. That'll do it and Stephanie won Backstage, Vince confronted Regal, yelling at him and ripping into him. Regal is just flustered and doesn't know how to respond. Same, my man. Same...

Anyway, it's 3 Stages of Hell and it's a no-doubter 5-Star Match! First fall is pretty standard brawling with Austin catching HHH off the middle rope with a Stunner. Second fall sees HHH tie-it up after being busted open with a sledgehammer and Pedigree because The Game-uh Gonna Game-uh. The last fall in the cage is pretty vicious, and while I'm summarizing hard here, please check this out when it comes out on VHS later this year. Anyway, Austin and HHH have a barbed wire 2x4 and sledgehammer respectively. They turn into each other, whacking the other with the weapon. Austin falls, and HHH collapses a moment later, right on top of Stone Cold. The ref counts and HHH just beat the Rumble winner. I don't hate it. Austin has all the momentum he needs, and his recent paranoia could only be exacerbated by this loss. The story here is honestly that HHH is getting cheers. I guess WWF fans really DO like attempted murderers. Who knew? We never had anything like this in WCW...usually.

Backstage, the masked man confronts Regal in his office. He tells Regal that he'll stop attacking people if he agrees to his demands. When Regal mentions he has to think about it, the masked man shakes his head before promising more violence until he is satisfied. He leaves with Regal placing a phone call to someone.

King comes off commentary for the next match, being replaced by Tazz, and lemme tell you, Schiavone and Tazz are a really weird combination. Not bad, by all means, actually pretty entertaining, but both men bring up the WCW-ECW connection a few times and it really pinpoints that this is actually happening. Anyway, Steven with Ivory (no rest of the RTC for now) take on King in an...alright match. It's mostly story with The Kat at ringside with her husband. The RTC do eventually show up, but the APA pop in to stop all that. Hell, even Tazz gets involved, locking in the Tazzmission to Venis. This is enough of a distraction from the match to allow Steven to whack King down low and hit him with a Steven Kick. Through all the brawling, Steven pins King. The RTC get away long enough to take The Kat to the back, as is the right. Tazz rejoins Tony, expressing disdain for the RTC, and wishing nothing but harm for them and good luck to Kat. King is taken to the back, quite angry.

Triple Threat Tables Tag Team match as The Brothers take on...the Brothers and...the Brothers. Destruction, Dudley, and E&C in that order for the Dudleys' tag titles. This was a fine match. Buncha table spots and six bonafide people that the crowd love to see. Rikishi and Haku try to interfere. Unfortunately, they're interrupted by Kronik, who again, come out. They hit a Double Chokeslam to Rikishi through a table. They go for Haku when Undertaker and Kane intercede. The masked man pops out and whacks Undertaker in the back of the head with the tire iron before quickly fleeing. During this, it's enough distraction for the Dudleys to hit Christian with a 3D through a table in the ring. Kronik head out, their task complete, whatever that task is. Tony mentions that they're for hire, and he wonders who hired them.

Before the main event starts, Mr. McMahon comes to the ring. He looks furious and calls the WCW champions out. Booker and Thrillers slowly make their way to the ring at his behest. Vince yells at them, telling them to call off their attacks. Booker expresses regret for their actions, and honestly gives a pretty good face promo telling Vince and the WWF that they don't support the attacks over the evening. Vince calls bulls***, but Booker and the Thrillers are insistent. There's some commotion in the audience. The camera focuses on Hugh Morrus in the audience, fighting off security as he rushes to the ring, his US Title in hand. He hits the ring and swipes a mic. Before he can even speak, the Thrillers swipe it back, wanting answers. Hugh shouts that WCW can't die, and he'll make sure of it, alone if he has to. Booker tells him to call off whoever he has, because they're doing this right. Hugh looks to calm down before clocking Vince in the head. Triple H limps out from the back, his sledgehammer in hand and a bandage on his head. Before Hugh leaves, Booker grabs him, forcing him back into a Book End (as called right by Tony). HHH hits the ring and looks poised to attack. Booker calms him down before leaving with the Thrillers. They return to their pent box. HHH smirks and whacks Hugh with the sledgehammer before hitting him with a Pedigree. HHH throws the US Title away before heading out.

The main event time and...guys, I hate to say it, but this is probably the most predictable match EVER. I mean, come on now...Rock is going to Mania. I know it. You know it. WWF knows it. Tony and Tazz seem to know it, even if they make an attempt to give Angle a chance. Hell, the only one who doesn't know it is Earl Hebner who just about screws everything up by saying Angle kicked out when Stevie Wonder could see he did it. One more Rock Bottom later and The Rock is the new WWF Champ. Good try Angle. Your title reign was a good watershed moment for you, but unfortunately even you're not bigger than Rock/Austin 2 (at Mania anyway).

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RAW Results (excerpt)
February 28, 2001 - newzsource.net

The masked man finally revealed himself, and to the surprise of virtually everyone, it was DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE! DDP is in the WWF! After scrapping a bit with a few WWF wrestlers (among them Test, who he previously took out), The Undertaker popped out and took care of business. DDP made history by being the first WCW superstar to challenge The Undertaker for WrestleMania. The match was promptly accepted.



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RAW Results (excerpt)
March 6, 2001 - newzsource.net

One of the WCW wrestlers decided to make a stand as DDP, Hugh Morrus and Kronik started attacking HHH, Test, and Taker. Regal was powerless to stop them, despite yelling on the mic to do so. It was Booker T and the Thrillers who made a stand. They attacked Hugh and Kronik, sending them packing to the back and feeling betrayed at this.

Later in that same episode, HHH called out Booker and told him that he doesn't care about WCW, but Booker clearly does. So he's offering Booker a match, since he feels he "deserves" it. Booker is offended, claiming he deserves the world, but thanks HHH's compliment anyway. HHH responds by challenging him for what even he calls one of the most pretigious belts in wrestling history, the WCW "Heavyweight" Title. The two shake hands, accepting the match at Mania! WHAT?! HHH ends it by hitting Booker with a Pedigree, but the WCW Title will be on the line at a WRESTLEMANIA?!



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RAW Results (excerpt)
March 20, 2001 - newzsource.net

The WCW contingency of Hugh Morrus and Kronik seemed to come to ahead as Vince gave Regal an ultimatum. He was ultimately pissed as Hugh punked him out, spawning Regal to bust out some brass knuckles and save Test and Haku from a 2-on-3 situation. This was, of course, AFTER they had injured Rikishi earlier in the night. Regal promptly named himself the Samoan's replacement, leading to the 6-Man Tag Match being made official for Mania.

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RAW Results (excerpt)
March 27, 2001 - newzsource.net

With days away from Mania, you'd be remiss to excuse everyone for not focusing a moment on the fact that WWF bought WCW (not that they can let you forget, having seemingly dropped the pretense of ignoring them). So Vince coming out in the middle of what would've been Nitro's annual Spring Break. He walks into Club La Vela and tells the audience that tonight it would be official: he will sign the contract for WCW.

Vince, having been at Club La Vela seemingly all night, is told by someone that "he's here." With a crowd gathering around (no doubt plants brought in for the sake of making this seem more important to casuals than it probably is), Vince waits impatiently for "Turner" to get his ass out there. Vince starts telling the world that the moment has arrived and that Ted Turner will be made Vince's bitch. Back in the arena, Shane McMahon comes out. Vince must have a TV nearby as he is surprised at this. Shane assures Vince that the contract for WCW has been signed, and it does say McMahon...Shane McMahon. Shane bought WCW. Not sure it was necessary to slap that on last minute, but I guess WCW now has official recognition, even with an on-screen authority figure.

It gets better, apparently. Shane tells Vince that he's even found a "special referee" for their match, and while he appreciated the board's attempts to find "the right fit", he tells Vince that he footed the bill and gave them somebody better. Vince turns around after a "WHOOO!" WAIT HWHAT?!

RIC FLAIR! RIC FLAIR IS THE SPECIAL REF FOR VINCE VS. SHANE! WOEW!

Vince gulps, and tries to run, but Flair grabs him by the suit. After faking him out, Flair tosses Vince into the nearby pool!

WrestleMania X-Seven
April 1, 2001 - Reliant Astrodome in Houston, TX

We have a long night ahead of us, but before that officially begins, we've got the match on Heat where X-Factor takes on the tag team of Too Cool and Steve Blackman. With Rikishi officially out of action with a shoulder injury, that leaves his recent partner Haku by himself, but he makes his presence known in this quick paced match. He appears to attack Too Cool before being taken out by Blackman. This is enough for X-Factor to get the advantage and take the match, hitting Scotty with an X-Factor for the leader to claim the win. It's worth noting that Tony Schiavone and Michael Cole are calling the action here.

From there, after a hoakey intro (seriously? Yokozuna wasn't even Japanese!), we get right into it with Eddie defending the Intercontinental Title against Chris Jericho. Eddie is accompanied by Chavo. Heyman and JR are on the call tonight, which...yeah, hold up, just a reminder, Paul Heyman, reported owner of ECW, is calling commentary at Wrestle-fricken-Mania. I dunno what's going on with ECW, but given we've seen no less than three ECW talent in recent months (four if you count Heyman) showing up in WWE? Yeah, writing's on the wall is all I'm saying.

Anyway, Eddie and Chris have a barnburner of a match that never steps its second level. If they had another five minutes it'd be pretty close Bret vs. Owen in regards to Mania openers, but as is, we'll have to settle with a damn good match. Chavo distracts the ref, allowing Eddie to claim the title itself. Jericho hits a triangle dropkick that takes Chavo down. This is about when Perry Saturn runs out in a the most ridiculous hat I've ever seen. He distracts the ref, to allow Eddie to try and whack Y2J with it, but the latter reverses it into a Walls of Jericho. With Perry still distracting the ref, Dean Malenko pops in and whacks Chris in the back of the head with the belt. After Perry gets down and Dean makes haste, Eddie hits a Frog Splash to a seemingly unconscious Jericho to retain. Afterwards, The Radicalz + Chavo celebrate towards the back.

Backstage, The APA are playing poker with Jacqueline and Bradshaw goes on a tirade about Houston and Texas sports in the Astrodome and I'm not a Texan but just a moment he made me wish I was. The quick segment wraps up before we head back to ringside where said APA team with Tazz against the RTC, which...god, this gimmick HAS to be on its last legs, right? Maybe, as this bog standard trios match ends with Goodfather missing the FKA Ho Train only to turn around into a Clothesline from Hell to give the win to the proud Texan. God bless Texas, or something or whatever. Alamo!

After a quick segment backstage where Stephanie orders Trish to do some shit with ice that irks the latter before telling her to double LInda's dosage, who remains in her wheelchair catatonic. The acting from Linda definitely did not pass down to her daughter.

The 3-Way Hardcore Match is next and Raven, Big Show, and Kane brawl throughout the entire stadium. Seriously, they get to the back and it's a nice, fun, and entertaining little segment that sees Raven go through glass, Show and Kane go through a wall, and Kidman get send outside through a bay door and onto a stack of pallets. Raven, commandeering a golf cart, damn near drives into a cord that apparently would've shut the whole arena down which is absolutely hilarious in hindsight, but at the time was probably daunting. The three men eventually fight back into the arena where Show sends Kidman flying off the stage with a Chokeslam, sending him onto concrete. Show lifts Raven up for a military press through a portion of some staging, but Kane boots them down to send THEM through the stage. One leg drop later, and Kane is the new Hardcore Champion.

Kurt Angle goes through him tapping out to Benoit backstage, watching it a few times before Edge and Christian show up. Angle is all business here and they concede that since it wasn't in a match, he never actually tapped out. Love that logic, I should use that in real life some time. Elsewhere, Coach is with a couple of fans from Australia who won a contest or something to get here? I wasn't really into this part to be honest.

Up next is the second trios match. The WCW contingent of Hugh Morrus and Kronik take on Haku, Regal, and Test. The match barely gets going before Haku turns on his partners. Haku focuses on Regal, beating the hell out of him much to Heyman and JR's confusion. Haku takes Regal out of the match, leaving Test to try and fight alone. He isn't very successful, and ends up taking a Double Chokeslam (called as such by Heyman) and a moonsault (called as such as JR because WCW's stupid names have no home here) by Morrus to pick up the win! After the match, Hugh gets a mic, holding his US Title high and telling the WWF fans that they'll be recognized, and that there's more WCW where they come from. He then points towards a sky box where The Natural Born Thrillers are holding their Tag Titles. Hugh makes one last plea for them to get on board, before telling Houston and the WWF to kiss their ass. Real classy promo there by a WCW champion.

Michael Cole is backstage with Mick Foley, which gets a pop from the fans. Cole talks to Foley about Mania, with Foley telling the fans that he's there to watch Mr. McMahon gets his ass whipped tonight by his son Shane. Foley had wished that he had some involvement with Mania, and gives a sarcastic promo regarding all he's done for the company and given to it and he lost out a referee gig to one of the most arrogant and self-serving people in the history of pro wrestling. which...is a damning take on the Nature Boy. For those unaware: Foley and Flair are not fans of each other. Foley's autobiography directly called out Flair for ill-perceived notions when Flair was a booker when Foley was in WCW. Foley says despite all of that he's looking forward to watching Vince and Shane tonight...right here, in Houston, Texas!

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are up next and...honestly, it's damn near a 5-Star Match, but they never get to that next level. It's still a damn good match though, with the two of them trading holds and suplexes. But all good things have to come to an end, and when the referee is taken out by a rolled through Ankle Lock. Benoit has the Crossface locked in, and Angle taps, but with no referee, Benoit lets it go. As he wakes the referee, the fans go nuts for something, when suddenly Kevin Nash runs into the ring! He waits for Benoit to turn around before clocking him with a chair to the head! Reminder: Nash was amongst the list of names that Time Warner refused to uphold! Nash follows up with a Jackknife to Benoit onto the chair. Nash gets rid of the chair. Angle sees all of this and spots Nash on the outside. He waves at him. Kurt then covers Benoit as the refs counts it. Afterwards, Nash raises a reluctant Angle's hand.

Backstage, Regal enters his office, pissed, where he spots Kamala and Kim Chee messing around with a picture of the Queen. Regal shoos them off before looking over the picture. After that, we see Triple H preparing for his coming back. Not long after that, we see Booker T doing the same thing, the WCW Title in sight. JR and Heyman put over the history and legacy of the WCW Heavyweight Title (still not World) dating back to 1905 and the early Heavyweight Titles of Lou Thesz and Karl Gotch and Hackenshmidt. Steve Ray, who did NOT sign a WWF contract, appears and wishes Booker luck.

We head to the arena where Motorhead plays Triple H down to the ring live. Good for Hunter getting Lemmy to do this, legit. Booker comes out to a pretty decent pop from the crowd. Heyman believes it's based off Booker's post, but JR believes it's cause they're in his hometown. Heyman thought he was from Harlem, which transitions to a fair assessment from JR on Booker and his past (no mention of Wendy's, by the way). The match starts with Hunter leading, but soon after, Booker gets frustrated and takes it to HHH. The match beyond that is pretty stellar, truth be told. It's a classic kind of match with nothing fancy, but HHH makes Booker look like a star and treats him like it. Booker looks to have things down with a Book End (called as such by Heyman, not JR) and going for a renamed Houston Takeover. HHH regains control and works on the leg for a bit. Eventually, Booker gets out of a Pedigree for a Scissors Kick, but it's kicked out. HHH looks to end it, going for the Pedigree, but Booker reverses it into a leg catapult, taking out the referee. HHH pops off a low blow and gets the sledgehammer. Before he can use it, Stevie Ray, Booker's brother, comes out and takes it from him. HHH gets pissed, turning around into a Scissors Kick as the ref reawakens. With that, Booker retains his WCW Title. HHH looks on pissed at Harlem Heat.

Following a video package of the WWF superstars at the local army installation named Fort Hood, Angle is being interviewed by Kevin Kelly, who asks him about Nash. Angle has no idea why Nash interfered, but he's happy to know that not all the WCW guys are idiots. Before he can get any further, Benoit appears and locks in him another Crossface, causing the Olympic gold medalist to tap out. Again. Though unofficially, remember.

It's Women's Title time! And why am I even bothering with this? Ivory comes out alone, Chyna comes out with her firework gun, and I come outta this just irritated. Chyna squashes the hell outta Ivory, which would be fine if this wasn't an obvious waste of Chyna's potential. She even wins with a military press of all things. Chyna celebrates for a few moments with the Women's Title when Billy Gunn comes out to celebrate with her. They share a hug for a few moments before he frowns and hits her with a Fameasser. He shakes his head and leaves the stadium.

Backstage, Steven Richards is seen watching the broadcast. He starts getting frustrated, and is interrupted by Hardcore Holly, who tells Richards to "get over it." Holly leaves and Steven starts throwing stuff around, causing chaos. He is, again, interrupted, but this time by a couple of boy band looking guys. "Sugar" Shane Helms, Shannon Moore, and Evan Karagias interrupt Steven before going into a rendition of 3 Count (with random music playing in the background). Before they can get to the hook, Steven interrupts and kicks them out. Steven rips off his RTC tie and looses his shirt. He stares into a mirror, pissed. Raven and Kidman appear behind him, and Steven is surprised, then elated. Oh cool more Nest/Flock chicanery.

Vince then appears with Stephanie and a comatose Linda (Trish is here too). Michael Cole appears and asks Vince about the match up next and his "shocking" actions. Vince questions his verbiage, and tells Michael that if he wants "shocking" he'll "get...shocking". That match is next. Vince and Shane. McMahon vs. McMahon. Flair comes out first and has a LOUD pop from the Houston crowd. The match is kinda back and forth, but eventually, Shane manages to take over. He looks poised to score it in the bag, but Stephanie pulls Vince out of the way of an elbow through the announce table, something Shane has been known to do. Trish and Linda come out, and Trish looks poised to comfort Vince...before slapping the piss outta him. Steph and Trish brawl, with Flair interfering only when Stephanie gets the upper hand. She slaps the piss outta Flair's mouth, and he smirks in response. He "whoos" and thrusts his hips, causing Stephanie to run. Or try to run, she trips with Trish making chase. At ringside, Vince looks at his comatose wife and calls her her a "bitch" which is just rude. He tries to do something to her, but Flair intercedes, telling him to not even think about it. Flair tries to get Linda outta there, but Vince sends a chair shot to this back and then his face and if you know Ric, you know what's coming. Vince gets Linda into the ring and has her watch him beat on Shane with a couple of trash cans. On the third one, Linda STANDS UP AND OH GOD THE POP I ACTUALLY GOT OUTTA MY CHAIR HOLY CRAP! Vince is shocked! Shane is shocked! Houston is shocked JR and Heyman are shocked! I'm shocked! Linda is hesitant, but kicks Vince in the dick. Flair gets up, bleeding profusely (there it is!) staining his ref shirt and blonde hair, but he enters the ring and starts chopping the hell out of Vince a few times. He locks in a Figure 4 and the crowd just loses ther s***. Flair eventually lets go, helping Shane set up for a VAN TERMINATOR?! WHAT?! Shane gets the win off that. He hugs his mommy and the world is right again.

After a quick recap from Heat where the Hardys and Lita were at the WWF New York the previous day signing autographs with Kevin Kelly, which, for those unaware (because who the hell watches Heat...oh wait, I did, whoops), involved former Natural Born Thrillers members (before Sean and Palumbo took the name for themselves) Mike Sanders, Mark Jindrak, and Shawn Stasiak confronting them in the line. The Hardys beat them back (with Jeff and Matt avoiding Shawn entirely and sending him into a table of food to hilarious results) before continuing like nothing happened.

TLC II is next up and straight-up a 5 Star Match. Just absolute fantastic work from these three teams that kept me on the edge of my seat. We even had Rhyno, Spike Dudley, and Lita interfere and take some spots. Just fantastic, truly. Watch it when it comes out on VHS (or DVD, apparently, but who buys those?). I don't wanna spoil ANYTHING here. Edge and Christian win back their titles in an amazing contest.

After a recap of the Fan Axxess event and the announcement of the attendance (67, 925 reportedly), it's the Gimmick Battle Royal. Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan come out and do commentary for JR and Heyman, and it's really just an excuse for them to riff and go ham as only they can. Participants are: Bushwhackers, Duke Droese, Doink the Clown, Nikolai Volkoff, Tugboat, The Goon, Earthqake, Gobbledy Gooker, Brother Love, Michael Hayes, One Mang Gang, Kamala and Harvey Whippleman, Kim Chee, Jim Cornette, Repo Man, Hillbilly Jim, Iron Sheik, Sgt. Slaughter, Damien Demento, Xanta Claus (WHAT!), Archnaman (WHAT!), Max Moon (KONNAN WHY), and Jim Duggan (HOOO!). The final four was Jim, Sheik, Slaughter, and Duggan. Sheik eliminated Duggan, to the crowd's chagrin. Jim and Slaughter brawled a few moments before Sheik dumped htem both out. Sheik won, but American got the better with a Cobra Clutch from Slaughter After a defining "USA" chant from both Duggan and Slaughter, Heenan and Gene wrapped this up.

The Undertaker rides to the ring and DDP is serenaded by the rip-off Smells Like Teen Spirit. The two ended up brawling, with DDP eventually getting advantage after taking the ref down with an errant clothesline. Taker went for a Chokeslam, but Page kicked him low, then clotheslined HIM. Page got a chair and beat on Taker's back with it a few times. Page hit the Diamond Cutter, but Taker kicked out after the slow count by Chioda. Page hit an elbow drop to Chioda, which preceded his actual death because Taker and Page brawled throughout the stadium while he lied in the ring clearly no longer alive. A big spot came when Taker and Page brawled on some scaffolding that ended when Page reversed a Chokeslam into a Diamond Cutter off it. The crowd popped, but it was immediately invalidated when they showed the crash pad they landed on. They brawled back to the ring, where Chioda was somehow coming back from literal death. Page got his tire iron and went for Taker, who hti a snake eyes and big boot. Taker went for a Last Ride, but Page whacked him with his weapon. That got a two count. Page went for another Diamond Cutter, but Taker shoved him away into a Chokeslam. Taker called it and hit one final Last Ride to end it. Afterwards, Taker was about to leave on his motorcycle when Page got on the mic and called Taker back in, saying he wasn't done yet. Taker shook his head and got back in, but when he went for Page, he was hit from behind by a chair. It's Kanyon! The Best Wrestler in WCW! He whacks Taker with a chair again before hitting a Flatliner to him onto it. Kanyon and DDP shake hands before leaving together, smirks on their faces.z

It's main event time! Austin comes out to the biggest pop of the night. Rock comes out to the second. Howard Finkel announces it's a No DQ Match during his introduction, which confuses JR and Heyman. The match is probably a 5 Star Match, honestly. It's so simple, yet so jam packed with so much stuff that I really love. The two men battle it out for the WWF Title Rock wants to keep and Austin needs to have, and it all culminates with Vince McMahon coming out. When Rock has Austin on the ropes, Vince pulls him off the pin. Rock makes chase, leading to Austin hitting a Rock Bottom to an unsuspecting Vince. The two stare at each other for a few moments, and with a nod, Austin has him get a chair. Chair shot, Stunner, kickout. Chair shot, kickout. From there, Austin deteriorates in front of us as he just destroys Rock with repeated chair shots. After one more emphatic blow to the back, Austin covers Rock and scores the pin. Afterwards, Austin is the new champ, but no one is happy. He grabs his title and whacks Hebner with it. He grabs a beer and celebrates...before shaking hands with Vince McMahon! "They're shaking hands!" says Heyman. Austin takes it one step further by clashing cans over Rock and drinking over him. "Austin drinking a damn beer with Vince McMahon! Stone Cold has sold his soul to Satan himself to win the WWF Title!" Austn whacks Rock with the WWF Title one last time. We sign off with Austin and Vince side-by-side, the WWF Title back in the latter's control, and the WWF Title back in the former's hands.

When will this continue?