A New Generation…..a new attitude? [by To4sty]

…..we don’t even have time for the credits to roll this evening before the chaos ensues…..

…..it’s Monday night, we are six days away from Wrestlemania…..and it looks as though Brian Pillman is looking to take apart ONE of his World Title opponents…..be cause we are told that as Stone Cold Steve Austin entered the building this evening, he was set upon by the Corporate Cannon (and WWF Champion) Brian Pillman, along with the maniacal Mankind…..and as Jim Ross screams to get some security to the back, we finally play the opening credits…..

…..Raw is War indeed…..

…..and it’s no less chaotic the other side of the credits…..because Mankind and Pillman have dragged Austin out into the arena, where they proceed to put a whipping to the Rattlesnake all the way down the aisle…..

…..I don’t think there’s much chance of Austin getting a helping hand here either (after giving half the roster a beer shower last week) so he fights back as best he can along the way…..it was always going to be an uphill battle though fighting two men, and as Pillman nails the Rattlesnake between the eyes with the WWF Title belt on the outside, Mankind comes flying off the apron with an elbow drop to the floor…..

…..Pillman rolls Austin into the ring, as Mankind (clearly still irate that Kane isn’t showing him the attention he feels he deserves) wails into a nearby camera that he is no afterthought…..

…..clearly looking to emphasise that point, Mankind rolls under the bottom rope and instantly locks on the mandible claw to the helpless Austin, as Pillman cackles like the unbridled lunatic that he is, hopping up and down around his Wrestlemania opponents fallen body, taunting him with the WWF Championship…..





…..:::::!!!!!PYRO’S ERUPT!!!!!:::::…..







…..until the pyros erupt…..and the Big Red Monster, Kane, comes making his way out from the back…..

…..Mankind wanted the full attention of Kane, it looks like he’s going to get it tonight, as he comes marching down the aisle heading straight for Mankind….who releases his hold on Austin and stands inviting his Wrestlemania opponent to meet him…..

…..Kane climbs over the top rope and goes to work nailing both Pillman and Mankind with right hands, and would have planted The Corporate Cannon with a Chokeslam, had Mankind not grabbed the WWF Champion by the ankles and dragged him out of the ring to safety…..

…..Pillman isn’t happy about Kane having the audacity to place his hands on him…..while Austin, he’s not happy about the beat down he just received full stop…..and he grabs a microphone to express this…..

”…..because Brian Pillman, if ya wanted to get in the ring with Stone Cold Steve Austin, a week before I whip your ass for that WWF Title, you only had to say so son…..hell, we can do this right now or we can do it later, I really don’t care…..but one way or another, your ass belongs to Stone Cold tonight, and that’s the bottom line…..”

…..Pillman isn’t really one for getting his hands dirty since he became “corporate”, and it looks like he’s shrugging off the challenge…..unfortunately Mankind answers for him, telling Austin that they will see him AND Kane in the main event later this evening…..

…..The Corporate Cannon isn’t pleased about this, and drags Mankind to the back by his shaggy hair…..but a challenge is a challenge and the match will take place…..

…..hopefully Mankind’s desire to be recognised as a threat doesn’t come back to bite Brian Pillman in the ass tonight…..

…..I guess we’ll see later…..

…..let’s have a match…..

Rating: A*

…..we have a very tag heavy evening ahead of us tonight, but of all the pairings we will see, Booker T and Stevie Ray are both the most obvious AND the most surprising…..

…..obvious because they’re brothers…..and as Harlem Heat, a highly established and successful team…..surprising because as Booker T and Stevie Ray, they are currently set to collide at Wrestlemania for Bookers European Championship…..not to mention the fact that Stevie Ray is now a full member of the Nation of Domination…..

….surprising team right?…..

…..the announcers tell us that it was Stevie Ray that requested this match, following on from last weeks scuffle with High Voltage…..although you’ve got to be asking exactly how much Booker T can trust his brother having his back here tonight…..he does though for the most part…..

…..Stevie has been telling the world that it is HE that was responsible for the success of Harlem Heat…..and it was HE that was responsible for the solo success of his brother…..as a team tonight, Booker T certainly does most of the leg work….AND plays the face in peril (as Stevie berates him for letting a couple of chumps like High Voltage take him down) it he does finally rally without having to make the hot tag…..

…..he looks like he’s going to win this single handedly too…..but as he comes off the top with a Missile Dropkick, Stevie slaps his leg before he leaps, making himself the legal man…..

…..Booker connects on Rage…..Stevie makes the cover…..and Stevie takes the credit…..

…..of course he does…..

Winner(s): Harlem Heat
Rating: B

…..Stevie holds his hands up in victory as the timekeeper hands Booker T his European Title, fore grabbing a microphone and telling Booker that he’s just showed him again how a man gets things done…..

”…..because everyone knows you got that belt because’a me…..everyone knows that you didn’t get your ass whooped by these two fruit booty’s last week because’a me…..and everyone knows that you got this win tonight because’a me…..

…..but more important than that, everyone knows…..that you’re gonna lose that belt at Wrestlemania because of me…..”

…..Stevie says that everyone knows that Booker got soft…..everyone here, everyone at home, everyone back on 110th Street…..

”…..and yeah, even you brother…..I know it, you know it…..sucka’s gotta know, Booker T got soft…..now what you gotta say about that?…..”

…..Stevie hands Booker the microphone, awaiting his response…..Bookers response is to smack the microphone right between his brothers eyes, staggering the Nation member back…..and then hooking hold of him and driving him to the mat with the Book End…..

…..Booker stands over his brother, European title in one hand, microphone in the other, telling Stevie that he never got soft…..

”…..I just didn’t want to have to whoop my own brother in front of the whole damn world…..but since he’s turned into nothing but a damn fool, it looks like I’m gonna have to beat the stupid outta you…..

…..so sucka, you wanna be a playa?…..you wanna see how soft I really am?…..you want this damn belt?…..at Wrestlemania…..you’re gonna have to take it in a Harlem Street fight…..now can you dig that?…..”

…..and with that Booker drops the microphone and heads to the back…..

…..challenge levied…..

…..I’m sure it will be accepted…..

…..I book this sh!t after all…..

Rating: B+

…..we head backstage, where we go to the locker area of the Corporation…..and our WWF Champion clearly still isn’t happy that Mankind accepted a match on his behalf tonight…..especially with Stone Cold Steve Austin…..

…..he’s currently berating Mankind, but to be honest I’m not sure Mankind is hearing him, because it looks like he’s zoned out as he sits rocking on the floor, muttering things about Kane to himself…..

…..Pillman is getting more and more irate that Mankind ignoring his rant, until McMahon finally snaps at him to shut up…..

…..McMahon tells Pillman that for the last two months, the Corporation has had opportunity after opportunity to take Steve Austin out of the equation for Wrestlemania, and yet here they are, six days away, and that damn Rattlesnake is still causing trouble…..

”…..so stop blaming this mindless idiot for YOUR inability to take Austin out…..and view this as your FINAL opportunity…..”

…..McMahon says that after that little stunt Austin pulled last week (when he sprayed half the roster with beer) there aren’t going to be too many people coming to the aid of that redneck son of a bitch tonight…..

”…..so instead of berating the simpleton, maybe you should think about thanking him…..because Steve Austin is going to be out there, in that very ring tonight…..so take Mankind, take Flair, take the Enforcer…..

…..and take….him…..out…..

…..no excuses!…..

…..no excuses indeed…..

…..let’s move on…..

Rating: A

….or rather over…..his time to the locker area of the Hart Foundation, where Dok Hendrix is looking to get word from the Canadian Quartet…..

…..he speaks first to the Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, and his partner tonight Owen Hart…..not only about their tag team contest this evening, but with their respective singles encounters upcoming at Wrestlemania with the two men they’ll face later this evening…..

”…..because Chris, you’ll be putting that Intercontinental Championship on the line, against a man who says he’ll hang his boots up for good if he can’t defeat you in Dean Malenko…..while you Owen, you’ll be facing one of the greatest young light heavyweights in the world today…..Rey Mysterio…..”

…..Jericho says that there’s little point discussing Stinko Malenko this evening, because Jericho has beat him before…..he’s took his pride…..his dignity…..he’s took his precious light heavyweight division…..the only thing left to take is his career, which he’ll do at Wrestlemania…..and then you’ll never……eeeeeeeever…..see Deano Machino again…..

”…..and as for the greatest young light heavyweight in the world today Dok, close your eyes and blink three times…..because the greatest light heavyweight ever to lace up his boots is standing right here…..”

…..Jericho indicates towards Owen, saying that they used to call Owen the Rocket, but they should have called him the Blueprint…..because he’s what every light heavyweight wrestler has aspired to be for the last decade…..

…..Owen agrees, saying that everyone that came after him was nothing more than a second rate Owen Hart wannabe…..Owen says that he INVENTED high flying and death defying offence (lies) and that every other light heavyweight is just walking in the footprints he left behind…..the difference is, no one has ever been able to fill his boots…..he was lucha before lucha was even a thing…..

”…..I know everything you’re going to do, before you even think about doing it…..because I’ve done it already…..the difference is, I didn’t have to hide behind a mask to do it…..”

…..(the Blue Blazer says hello Owen)…..

…..Jericho says that tonight, it’s going to be the man that started the light heavyweight revolution (Owen) and the man that ended it (Jericho) putting these two punks out…..before they finish them off permanently at Wrestlemania…..

…..from there Dok turns to Bret, telling the Hitman that his two opponents at Wrestlemania will be in that ring against each other this evening…..and that can only be a positive for Hart surely…..

…..Bret agrees…..saying that if they want to get in there six days before their world title match at Mania then so be it, he really doesn’t care if they kill each other, so long as they both make it to Wrestlemania…..Bret says that while he’s not going to wrestle tonight, he WILL be out there at ringside to see the action up close…..

”…..so Austin, Pillman…..it really doesn’t matter who wins tonight…..it doesn’t matter if you beat each other senseless…..all that matters, is that at Wrestlemania, you’re looking at the next World Wrestling Federation Champion right here…..because whether it’s one opponent or two, I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be…..and next Monday night, I’ll be out here as the four time WWF Champion to prove it…..”

…..let’s go back down to ringside…..

…..just…..not our ringside…..

Rating: A

…..because fresh off his return to the land of extreme last week (when he defeated Mikey Whipwreck) Raven is back in the ECW arena once again, and this time he’s revisiting an old rivalry…..because his opponent is a man that was a thorn in his side for his entire ECW career…..Tommy Dreamer…..

…..Tommy Dreamer built a name for himself here in ECW on the back of basically a losing streak…..because for two years, try as he might he could NEVER defeat Raven…..sure he hurt him…..he hurt him a lot…..but no matter how hard he tried, Raven ALWAYS found some way (or used someONE) to get one over on his nemesis…..

…..if you’ve ever seen a Tommy Dreamer/Raven match then you know what you’re getting here…..these two men just beat the sh!t out of each other all over the arena…..

…..Dreamer again comes close to picking up the win here…..but again he’s thwarted by outside influences…..not the Flock this time, but the Triple Threat…..because Shane Douglas has been set on taking out Dreamer for a while now, and as Hellraiser choke slams Tommy through a table on the outside, Douglas rolls him back into the ring, where Raven Evenflows him for an easy one, two, three…..

…..in the never ending saga of Tommy Dreamer and Raven…..

…..Raven wins again…..

Winner: Raven
Rating: B

…..Raven grabs a microphone and takes up his usual position sat in the corner of the ring…..

…..he tells the crowd that while he spent years lamenting in the barbed wire and the blood of ECW, he knew that when he left this place that he would be back again…..he says that ECW is the Hotel California of the wrestling world…..you can check out, but you can never truly leave…..because no matter how far you go, you always come back to those places that hurt you…..that shaped you…..

…..you always come back home…..

…..he says that in preparation for his match with the Undertaker, he’s looked deep into his past…..and deep into the past of the Deadman…..he’s dove, dredged and defiled everything that made the Undertaker the Undertaker…..he knows the Deadman…..he’s seen the childhood home and the childhood trauma that darkened the soul of the Phenom…..

”…..Undertaker…..I know you…..I know what makes you tick…..and despite the supernatural overtures, that instil a facade of fearlessness…..I know your deepest, darkest fears…..I know you….I saw your home and I invited you to see mine, but predictably you didn’t accept…..

…..come to me Undertaker, or I’ll come to you…..a mantra I have repeated for months…..and since you won’t come to me…..at Wrestlemania, I’ll come to you…..for I can set you free…..

…..Quote the Raven…..

…..Neverm…..”




…..:::::!!!!!GONG!!!!!:::::…..



…..well…..Raven did issue an open invitation…..and as the lights go out, Joey Styles let’s out the loudest OH MY GOD in history……









…..as the Deadman himself walks out into the ECW arena…..

…..and finally…..after months of stalking his prey……it looks like the Undertaker has finally got Raven dead in his sights…..nowhere to run…..nowhere to hide…..and more importantly, no one to hide behind……









…..or not I guess…..because while ECW is the company you can check out of but never leave, apparently (for Stevie Richards) Raven is the abusive father figure you can never leave…..because the Richards, Nova and Meanie come rushing out of the back to assault the Undertaker before he can even reach the ring…..

…..Raven just smirks at this…..rolling out of the ring and disappearing from sight as Stevie and Co continue to but the boots to the Deadman…..

…..briefly…..

…..because let’s face it, Taker wasn’t going to agree to come to ECW to get beat up by these three schmucks…..

…..Taker quickly rally’s back and sends Meanie and Richards crashing to the ground, before pressing Nova overhead and tossing him into the crowd…..

…..the Deadman goes a bit feral now, picking up a steel chair and absolutely destroying the Blue Meanie with it, before crashing it over the head of Stevie Richards, busting him wide open…..

…..Nova (stupidly) climbs out of the crowd and charges the Deadman again…..but a big boot to the face and a Tombstone to the concrete floor soon puts a stop to that…..

…..Taker rolls an unconscious Nova into the ring, where he wraps his hand around his throat…..picks him high up in the air…..walks him over to the side of the ring…..

…..and then Chokeslams him over the top rope…..and crashing through a table on the outside…..

…..I guess the Deadman can get a little extreme too…..

…..let’s go back to the arena…..

Rating: A

…..where Dok Hendrix is standing by with the Million Dollar Corporation, Scott Steiner, and his number one freak, Sable…..

…..Dok says that while the Million a dollar Corporation are set to face off against the Wolfpac next, after Kevin Nash having to stand back and watch Scott Steiner beat the crap out of Sean Waltman last week, you’ve got to think that Big Sexy is in a bad mood…..couple that with the fact that Scott Hall is here this week too, that could spell trouble for Rich Steiner and Southern Justice…..

…..Scotty tells Hendrix to shut up, saying that while he and his brother haven’t always seen eye to eye, a Steiner is still a Steiner, and a Steiner can kick the whole Wolfpac's ass single handed if they need to…..

…..Jeff Jarrett says that tonight, the Corproation are going to take care of Scott Steiner’s Kevin Nash problem pro gratis…..because it means that they get to take a piece of Hall and Waltman too…..

”…..and take a piece is exactly what I’m going to do at Wrestlemania…..a piece of their hair that is…..because when we win on Sunday, I’m finally going to give Sean Waltman the makeover that he so desperately needs Hendrix…..”

…..Jarrett says that the team that loses at Wrestlemania is going to have to sit back and let the winner shave their heads…..and if there is one thing Jeff Jarrett is, it’s a winner…..

”…..so go ahead and watch close Dok Hendrix…..tonight we take the Wolfpac down…..on Sunday…..we take their hair…..watch this space…..”

…..Scotty says that you can watch that if you want…..but what Kevin Nash is going to have to watch…..is Big Poppa Pump kicking the crap out of his little buddies again…..

…..to ringside we go…..

Rating: B+

…..and that match is indeed next…..but it wasn’t quite the cakewalk that Jeff Jarrett was expecting it to be…..

…..I’ll keep it short and sweet, but after having to sit back and watch Scott Steiner destroy Sean Waltman last week, Kevin Nash is p!ssed off…..

…..so pissed off in fact, that he beats the living sh!t out of the Corporation…..

…..they do get some offence in on Waltman, with Rich Steiner looking more dangerous than the former hog farmers, but when Nash makes the hot tag it all comes to a screeching halt…..

…..Nash unloads on all three Corporation members (and sends Jarrett flying off the apron for good measure when he pops up there) before Waltman and Hall get in on the fun…..

…..the other two Wolfpac men brawl about ringside with Rich and Canterbury, while Nash goes to work on Dennis Knight, dropping him face first in the corner with Snake Eyes, then dragging him to the middle of the ring where he delivers a massive Jackknife Powerbomb on the huge hog farmer for the one, two, three…..

Winner(s): The Wolfpac
Rating: B+

…..Nash isn’t done…..picking Knight up again and planting him with a second consecutive Jackknife after the bell…..

…..Jarrett comes into the ring with his guitar in hand and runs into a big boot, dropping the acoustic equaliser…..Nash picks the guitar up and crashes it over the head of Jarrett before heading outside and grabbing hold of Rich Steiner…..

…..Hall and Waltman work over Canterbury as Nash drags Steiner up the aisle, coming to a halt at the top of the ramp…..which is when Scott Steiner comes walking out…..

…..the two men can’t touch each other (a fact that Scotty took advantage of last week) but Big Poppa Pump can still scream at Nash, calling him a few choice words that the censors had fun with, telling him to let go of his brother…..

…..Nash’s response is to flip Scotty the bird…..

…..position Rich Steiner for the powerbomb…..

…..and then Jackknife him right off the entrance stage and down to the (gimmicked crashpad) floor below…..

…..I guess that’s what you call an eye for an eye…..Waltman paid last week, Rich Steiner paid tonight…..one things for sure, these two men are going to tear each other apart at Wrestlemania…..

…..let’s calm things down here a little bit…..

Rating: A

…..and nothings going to calm things down like a promo with the Lethal Weapon, Steve Blackman…..

…..Blackman is backstage with Michael Cole, who’s questioning his guest about the events of last week, which saw Savio Vega assaulting the Lethal Weapon at his dojo…..

…..Blackman says that he doesn’t know what Vega’s problem is, but he clearly has one, because he’s been getting in Blackmans business since the day he arrived…..

”…..and that’s fine by me Michael Cole…..I didn’t come to the World Wrestling Federation to be an observer…..I came to the World Wrestling Federation to compete…..so if Savio Vega wants to try me, he can do it in the ring…..”

…..that brings Savio into shot…..he tells Cole that his “problem” with Steve Blackman, is this hype about him being a lethal weapon…..about him being something dangerous…..Vega says that you don’t learn to fight in a gym, you learn to fight in the streets, and Savio has been fighting his whole life…..

”…..so you want to compete? Savio Vega will compete with you…..not here…..not now…..we’ll do this when everyone can watch and see what a real lethal weapon looks like…..”

…..Blackman says he has no problem with that…..name the time, the date and the place…..and Steve Blackman will see him then…..

…..spoiler alert…..we are going to see it on the Wrestlemania free for all pre-show…..

…..but that just doesn’t sound like as impressive a challenge…..

…..so let’s leave it a little bit ambiguous for now…..

…..and go back down to ringside…..

Rating: C

…..I said we had a tag heavy night planned for tonight…..and we go to another multi-man match…..this time featuring four men who will be facing off in singles action in six days time…..

…..Rey Mysterio and Dean Malenko will be facing Owen Hart and Chris Jericho respectively at Wrestlemania, but tonight they are facing each other in tag team action…..and the intensity is no less…..

…..the announcers discuss Malenko’s inability to defeat Chris Jericho in previous outings, causing him to doubt his own ability, so much so that he’s put his entire career on the line for one more shot at the Intercontinental Championship, stating that he will walk away from wrestling for good if he doesn’t pick up the victory on Sunday night…..

…..safe to say that defeat here isn’t going to do much to bolster that confidence…..

…..these two teams have a great match, and if this tag match is anything to go by, we are going to in for two guaranteed great outings on Sunday…..Rey Mysterio hasn’t put on a bad match since his arrival in WCW and he keeps that streak alive here, bouncing around the place like a pinball, while Malenko works the technical aspect of the match…..in fact, the light heavyweight contingent was well on track to picking up the victory…..so much so that Test had to make his way out from the back to interject…..

…..Malenko has the attention of the official, as he is in the middle of slapping Jericho all over the outside of the ring, when Owen (after making mention of the mask of Mysterio earlier this evening) snatches that sacred mask right off the head of Rey…..with the official still distracted, Test slides into the ring and almost turns Mysterio inside out with a running boot…..

…..Rey covers his face (both in pain AMD to hide it I’m sure) as Owen makes the cover…..just in time for the official to count the one, two and three…..

…..the Hart Foundation win…..

…..I wonder how Malenko’s confidence is doing about now…..

Winner(s): The Hart Foundation
Rating: A

…..we head to the back from there, where Mr. McMahon is making his feelings crystal clear…..

…..he tells all four members of the corporation that victory tonight is inconsequential…..neither a loss nor a victory matters…..which means that all that DOES matter…..is taking care of Stone Cold Steve Austin…..so Vince wants them all…..and he does mean ALL…..to go out there tonight….and eliminate the Steve Austin problem once and for all…..

…..Vince says that Pillman, Flair and Anderson are the World Champions of their respective divisions…..it’s time they started acting like it…..

”…..Steve Austin, that redneck son of a bitch, has been a stain on the face of the World Wrestling Federation for too long…..he’s cost me sponsors…..he’s cost me money…..I can still smell the stale stench of cheap beer in my hair from last week, and STILL he spits in the face of MY authority…..

…..so tonight…..take that Big Red Moron out of the way…..and then I want Steve Austin eliminated for good…..am I clear?…..”

…..looks like he’s clear…..because one by one the Corporate members file out of the door…..

…..I guess our main event is next…..

Rating: B+

…..as the cameras follow the four men from the room, Michael Cole comes rushing into shot, trying to get word with Flair and Anderson on their upcoming four corners tag team title defence at Wrestlemania…..

…..Flair and Arn have had their orders though, telling Cole that they don’t have time to talk to him right now, leading Cole to ask a question that does stop them…..

”…..because obviously it’s clear that your title defence is second in priority to making sure that Brian Pillman retains the WWF Championship…..are your heads even IN this match?…..

…..the brings the Nature Boy to a halt, as he tells Cole that Ric Flair has never been second to anyone a day in his life…..

…..Pillman tries to hurry Flair along, but the Nature Boy tells him that he and Arn will catch them out there…..right now they have business to contend to…..

…..the Corporate Cannon isn’t happy about that…..but his match is now, so off he and Mankind go, telling the tag champs to hurry up as he leaves…..

…..Michael Cole waits for Pillman and Mankind to leave before going to repeat his question, but Flair cuts him off before he can finish…..he says that he would like to repeat himself for posterity…..

”…..and that’s the fact that the Nature Boy…..has NEVER been second to ANYONE his entire life…..and as for our heads not being in our match at Wrestlemania, Michael Cole, when that bell rings, you won’t find two more focused men in all of professional wrestling…..”

…..Flair asks Cole to remind him who’s in the match again, since their heads aren’t in it after all…..to which Cole responds…..the New Age Outlaws, Al Snow and Chris Candido, and finally Dustin Rhodes and Marc Mero…..

…..Arn takes that one…..asking Michael Cole exactly how much their heads need to be in the game, when the two longest standing teams have only been teaming up for a year…..

”…..there’s one thing you can’t buy around here, and that’s experience…..Ric Flair and Arn Anderson have been a team for the best part of thirteen years, not thirteen months…..and as for championship experience, I held this very title a decade ago when I first walked into the door of the WWF, and I won it again within months of walking into it a second time…..

…..I don’t need to focus on a tag team match months in advance, because I AM tag team wrestling…..you see this belt around my waist? That’s all the focus I need…..as for Wrestlemania, there’s not a team in that match that can carry our bags, let alone these belts…..”






…..there’s a blur as two figures come rushing into shot…..the two figures being Dustin Rhodes and Marc Mero, who jump on Flair and Anderson…..the two teams brawl for a moment before they are quickly joined by the New Age Outlaws and Al Snow and Chris Candido, as all eight members of the Wrestlemania four corners match begin brawling in the backstage area…..

…..I’m fairly sure that Brian Pillman is still waiting for Flair and Anderson to join him at ringside…..

…..I think he’s going to be waiting a while…..

…..let’s go find out…..

…..it’s main event time…..

Rating: A

…..and that main event is going to see Stone Cold Steve Austin team up with The Big Red Monster Kane, to take on the Corporate Cannon Brian Pillman and the “insert nickname here” Mankind…..

…..(way to let the side down Mankind)…..

…..anyway…..those aren’t the only people at ringside…..yes, Brian Pillman was expecting Ric Flair and Arn Anderson to be out there, but it’s actually The Hitman, Bret Hart who makes his way out, taking up residence on the announce table for a ringside view of the action…..

…..now we have accounted for everyone, let’s get down to the match itself…..a match which in all honesty broke down before it even started…..the bell rings and Mankind tears straight for Kane, sending both the Big Red Monster and himself toppling over the top rope with a running clothesline…..

…..Austin and Pillman don’t wait long either, although their battle is contested inside the ring at least….

…..Kane and Mankind spend an extended period of time brawling on the outside (clearly Mankind’s attempt to get Kane’s attention has worked) before they eventually brawl all the way to the back and disappear from ringside entirely…..

…..that leaves Austin and Pillman alone…..now you could speculate that this was the game plan all along…..Mankind takes Kane out of the equation, leaving Pillman, Flair and Anderson to take care of Austin…..problem is, Flair and Anderson aren’t there, so it really is Pillman all alone…..

…..eventually the action spills to the outside, where Austin reverses an Irish Whip to send Pillman flying over the announce table, crashing into Bret Hart and knocking the Hitman to the ground…..

…..Bret isn’t happy about it either…..he was just here to observe, and he let’s Austin know this in no uncertain terms…..Austin let’s the Hitman know what he thinks of his protests in no uncertain terms as well…..because he flips Bret the double bird, before grabbing Pillman and tossing him back in the ring…..

…..Pillman backs off from the Rattlesnake, eventually grabbing hold of the official for cover, so much so that the two men stumble to the mat…..

…..which means that with Pillman and the referee both down, a still ticked off Bret Hart grabs the WWF Championship belt and climbs into the ring, absolutely nailing the Rattlesnake in the back of the head…..

…..Austin drops to the mat in a heap…..Bret Hart tosses the title and rolls out of the ring…..Pillman releases the official and snatches up his opponent, before dropping him again with the Time Bomb (hangman neckbreker) for the one, the two, and the three…..

…..and if that happens on Sunday night, it’s safe to say that Steve Austin won’t be walking out as Champion after all…..

Winner(s): Brian Pillman and Mankind
Rating: A

…..of course, he’s still got to walk IN to Wrestlemania to have any chance at all of walking out as champion…..and while Mankind, Flair and Anderson might not have lived up to their end of the bargain here, the Corporate Cannon looks like he’s going to take care of things all by himself…..

…..he keeps one eye on Bret Hart (who repeats the fact that he’s just here to observe, if Pillman and Austin want to kill each other then it’s no skin off his nose) before returning his attention to the Rattlesnake…..

…..Pillman mounts the fallen Austin, and begins raining down blows on his former friend, before picking him to his feet and planting him with a second Time Bomb that completely lays the Rattlesnake out…..

…..sliding to the outside Pillman picks up a steel chair, before returning to the ring and standing poised to strike…..and as Austin finally gets back to his feet, strike he does…..crashing the steel over the skull of Stone Cold, busting him wide open in the process…..

…..Pillman stands cackling over the bloodied Austin, splitting his time between raising his arms in victory and screaming at The Rattlesnake that he will NEVER hold the WWF Championship, and that at Wrestlemania he’s going to be left in a pool of his own blood…..just like now…..

…..and that’s when Bret Hart slides into the ring behind him…..and much as he did with Austin a few minutes ago, he nails the Corporate Cannon in the back of the head with the Championship belt…..

…..Pillman slumps in a heap on the mat beside Austin, as The Hitman stands over both of them…..

…..he looks down at the WWF Title in his hand for a moment, before raising it overhead with one hand, raising four fingers with the other hand…..four fingers because (as Bret implied earlier this evening) victory at Wrestlemania would see him walk out as the World Wrestling Federation Champion for a fourth time……

…..and with Austin down…..and Pillman right there beside him…..there’s every chance that we’ll see exactly that in six days time…..

…..we’ll see you Sunday night…..

…..for Wrestlemania…..

Rating: A*

Final Rating: A

…..it’s that time again…..time for the weekly trip to the land of extreme…..and while we saw a glimpse of the hallowed (bingo) hall this past Monday Night on Raw, it’s time for the full, uncensored experience…..because Hardcore TV is on the air…..

…..this marks the final chapter of the Living Dangerously shows, and tonight (while we do have one additional match) it’s all about the main event three way ladder match for the ECW Championship…..and yes (as Joey Styles guarantees it) we will see that match up in its entirety this evening…..

…..Joey opens the show by talking about the events that were highlighted to end last weeks episode…..Buford T. Pinkerton politicking a ladder match stipulation, into a match that he’d already politicked Justin Credible a place in to begin with…..



…..and we go straight to some pre match comments from the three competitors…..

…..Sandman is sat backstage somewhere with the ECW Title draped over his knees…..cigarette in one hand, beer in the other…..

…..he says that he’s just heard a few minutes ago that his match is now going to be a ladder match…..which means that in a few minutes, someone is going to be knocking on that door, taking his title from him, and hanging it 15 feet in the air above the ring…..

”…..and all I gotta do to get it back, is climb up that ladder and take it down…..Terry Funk, I know that you know that I know that me and you are gonna beat the living sh!t out of each other tonight…..and we’re going to do it because it’s all we know how to do…..I’m going to beat the sh!t out of Terry Funk, and I like him…..Justin Credible, what do you think I’m going to do to you?…..”

…..there’s a knock at the door and some ECW personnel walks into the room to collect the gold…..Sandman hands him the title, telling the camera that this right here, this is the only time anyone is taking this title from him tonight…..


…..from there we go to Terry Funk…..who’s busy taping up his fists…..he says that he’s here tonight for one reason only…..he wants the World Title…..

”…..I’d’ve took the damn thing last month too, if it wasn’t for Justin Credible and that fat bastard, buck toothed, yellow bellied, corporate warthog that he has in his pocket stopping it from happening…..

…..well Credible, you might think you’re a smart son of a bitch, but you done messed up boy…..because all that means is that I’m going to ram that ladder down your scrawny little throat, and climb your damn corpse to the top…..”

…..knock, knock, knock…..there goes the door again…..no title to collect this time, just the competitor, as someone tells Terry that it’s match time…..


…..and we may as well go three for three…..because now we head over to the young upstart Justin Credible, who is indeed standing by with that ‘yellow bellied, corporate warthog’, Buford T. Pinkerton…..and he’s ready and raring to go…..

”…..because FINALLY, someone is going to wipe off the blood and the beer and the stench of disgrace from that ECW Title…..and FINALLY, this company is going to have a champion it can be proud of…..a champion that Buford can be proud of…..and while those dregs of humanity in the crowd don’t know it yet, a champion that THEY can be proud of…..because let’s face it, they don’t have anything else in their sad little lives to be proud of…..”

…..Buford T. Pinkerton smiles like a proud father beside his chosen championship contender…..and as there’s a knock on the door to signal Credibles cue, he could only be minutes away from getting that wish…..

…..we’ll twenty minutes or so…..because we are going to show another match first…..

…..one from a recent live event…..

…..so let’s do that…..

Rating: B

…..we can’t fill up a months worth of tv just from one pay-per-view event…..and we do have live shows you know (get your tickets now!) where do you think Raven has been wrestling recently…..

…..this next match is from one of those events, and it’s tag team action, as Nova and Meanie (with Stevie Richards in their corner) take on Danny Doring & Roadkill (with Miss Congeniality in theirs)…..

…..if you were looking for a mat classic here you were never going to get one…..to be honest, if you were looking for a good match you were unlikely to get one…..

…..if you wanted a fun match however, you came to the right place…..because this was exactly that…..

…..between the crowd questioning Roadkills penchant for fornicating with farmyard animals, and Miss Congeniality kicking Stevie Richards in the nuts and sending him flying with a hurricanrana, the crowd certainly had a blast with this…..in the end though it was the newcomers that picked up the victory, after Roadkill crushed the life out of Nova with a big splash from the top rope…..

Winner(s): Danny Doring & Roadkill
Rating: C

…..more pre-taped comments before we go to our main event…..and this time it’s from the Dudley Boys…..ALL the Dudley Boys…..

…..including a couple of new ones…..

…..Dances with, Chubby and Sign Guy are looking very pleased with themselves to be joined by the three men that came to their aid last week….and since they ARE new arrivals, Dances with introduces them…..

…..first we have the little guy…..the guy that Dances with tells us that Big Daddy Dudley disowned from birth due to him being the runt of the litter…..Little Spike Dudley…..Dances with tells us that Spike may be small, but he’s the meanest, scrappiest, most fighting little Dudley of all…..and you’re going to have to kill him to stop him…..

…..next up is a product of Big Daddy’s NASCAR days…..Driving with Dudley…..

…..and if there’s one thing Daddy loves as much as NASCAR, it’s rodeo…..and it’s from his trips to the rodeo that our third new arrival came to be…..this is Yankee Doodle Dudley…..

…..it’s Driving with and Yankee Doodle that do most of the talking here…..Dances with and Chubby don’t offer much to the promo other than to say that they were right to bring in the extended family members…..(full disclosure, Dances with and Chubby offer nothing full stop to ECW…..and both will be getting those release papers soon)…..Driving and Yankee says that they’ve come to ECW to put an end to their brothers bullish!t…..they say that D-Von has poisoned the mind of Buh Buh and Big Dick, and if they have to beat some sense into the pair then they shall…..

”…..but D-Von, we’re just going to beat you for fun…..because honestly, we never even met you and we don’t like you…..


…..from there we flip over to the Dudley trio that beat the crap out of their brothers at the pay-per-view…..it’s D-Von, Buh Buh and Big Dick…..and D-Von is still reeling from the arrival of Dudleys that he didn’t even know were born…..

”…..I mean, I get the runt…..but the other two? I know about High Chief, Dances with his Thumb up his Ass Dudley and Fat F#@k Dudley, but no one thought to tell me about these other two? Those two I could have done something with…..”

…..Buh Buh says he didn’t say anything, because frankly, he didn’t think they’d have the balls to show up in ECW…..but now they have, they’ll just have to take them back OUT of ECW as quickly as they arrived…..

”…..see, me and Big Dick, we’ve been biding our time……keeping those idiot brothers close until it was time to do what their mothers should have done the day Big Daddy Dudley blessed them with his seed…..abort them…..

…..the runt wasn’t worth our time….and as for those other two…..we’ll take care of them when the time comes…..but for NOW, the time has come for the Dudley Boys…..the REAL Dudley Boys…..to pillage this company for everything it has…..”

…..D-Von says that a rose by any other name is still a rose…..but it takes more than just a name to be a Dudley…..for too long the Dudleys have been seen as a band of misfits….idiots…..laughing stocks…..that stops now…..

”…..because it’s time to testify…..it’s time to worship at the alter of Dudleyville…..and it’s time for everyone to understand three simple rules…..thou shalt not steal…..thou shalt not kill…..and thou shalt not f#@k with the Dudley Boys…..oh my brother…..testify!….”

Rating: B

…..a quick stop off in the “studio”, as Joey Styles gets set to send us down to our Living Dangerously main event ladder match…..

…..before he manages that though, Shane Douglas and the newly formed Triple Threat come walking into shot…..with the massive Hellraiser towering over the ECW play by play man…..

…..Shane says that he’s heard Joeys commentary recently…..particularly around the Triple Threats treatment of Tommy Dreamer and Beulah…..as well as the suggestion that Styles was hoping to see Douglas lose the Television Title to Jerry Lynn at Living Dangerously…..

”…..and I gotta tell ya Joe…..after competing TWICE at Living Dangerously…..victoriously both times I might add…..it’s a little bit insulting to hear you say that…..here you have the true definition of a Franchise Joey Styles…..a fighting champion…..a leader of the next generation (just ask Chris and Hellraiser what I did for their careers)…..I’m an equal opportunity wrestler, I’ll beat anyone up, just ask Beulah…..I’m willing to give young upstarts like Jerry Lynn the chance to sign on the dotted line for the biggest opportunities of their lives…..

…..so why don’t you tell me to my face how you want me to lose this title…..”

…..Joey does not do that (probably a wise decision since Hellraiser is clearly ready to deal with any disrespect sent Shane Douglas’ way physically) instead choosing to ask Douglas his view on the ECW Title Ladder Match that we are about to see…..

…..Douglas says that it doesn’t matter who wins the match…..because whoever holds that title is only holding on to it until The Franchise decides he wants it…..for now, all three men are lucky that Shane Douglas is focused on the Television Title…..

…..Joey says that since Shane has decided to interrupt this time, before they DO go to the Living Dangerously main event, why doesn’t Douglas watch these comments…..

…..from Rob Van Dam…..



…..Rob Van Dam, Bill Alfonso, AND Sabu actually…..

…..Fonzie blows that whistle like the annoying pr!ck that he is, before screaming at the camera that Taz has the nerve to threaten him? HIM?!? The man who calls it right down the middle?!?…..

”…..Taz! My man Rob Van Dam already beat you once…..and if that wasn’t bad enough for you, my man Sabu is going to return the favour that you did for him…..because while you couldn’t finish the job, he’s going to break your freaking neck and cripple you for life daddy…..”

…..Van Dam calms Fonzie down, telling him to chill, before moving the little manager to one side so that the spotlight is entirely on him…..

…..he says that that’s all well and good…..Sabu can go off and play with Taz…..

”…..but me, I already beat him, so they way I see it, it’s time for Mr. Monday Night to pick up some gold around here…..and since everybody knows that Rob Van Dam is the hottest thing on tv, it just makes sense for him to be the Television Champion…..

…..so Shane Douglas, that means you…..and that means your belt…..so when you’re done playing around with the bit part players and extras like Tommy Dreamer and Jerry Lynn, I’ll be waiting…..and I’ll show you that I’m not just the star of the show…..

…..I’m the Whole F#@king Show…..

…..Rob…..Van…..Dam…..”



…..back to (a visibly smirking) Joey Styles…..and Shane Douglas is not impressed…..he asks who the hell Rob Van Dam has beat to think he’s qualified to be challenging for the Television Title?…..

…..Joey pauses for a moment…..before simply saying ”Taz…..

…..in fact, Rob Van Dam has won a lot more matches around here than say a Jerry Lynn…..and I thought that ‘The Franchise’ was all about ‘giving young upstarts a chance to sign on the dotted line, for the biggest opportunities of their lives?’…..you did say that a few minutes ago right?…..I mean, we have it on tape, I can get the guys to wind it back so we can check…..”

…..Douglas tells Styles to shut up…..he says that he knows what he said…..and yes…..Rob Van Dam can indeed sign his name on the dotted line for a shot at the TV Title…..

”…..but he’ll have to get in line…..I got a hundred guys already lined up for an opportunity at the big one…..I’d kick Van Dam’s ass tomorrow but fair is fair Joey Styles…..I’m a man of my word and I can’t just be letting people jump the queue like that…..”

…..Shane says that if RVD wants a little taste of the Triple Threat, then he can try his luck with Chris Chetti…..with Hellraiser…..and if (“and it’s a big, goddam if”) he is still walking after that, then maybe…..MAYBE Shane will do him the honour of letting him get his ass Franchised…..

…..come on now Shane…..

…..as if you didn't have enough problems with Tommy Dreamer…..

…..now you’re going to try and duck RVD too?…..

……let’s get to the show closer already…..

Rating: B+

ECW Championship: Ladder Match

…..okay, so here we are…..it’s main event time, as Terry Funk finally gets the shot he wants at the ECW Championship, even if it’s not in quite the manner he envisioned…..

…..Justin Credible rode into the land of Extreme only a short while ago, but he’s already made a big impression and shot straight to the top of the card with his actions (coupled with the fact that he’s insanely over by ECW standards thanks to his previous association with the KLiQ over the course of last year) and in his mind, all that remains is to capture the title that will make him the man around here…..

…..as for the Sandman…..well, he just wants a fight, a beer, and a cigarette…..so this is a standard evening for him…..

…..on paper, it was a stroke of genius by Credible to get this match changed to a Ladder Match at the last minute…..he’s easily the most athletic of the three, the fastest of the three, definitely the least broken down of the three…..the biggest problem he’s going to have, is that his opponents are certifiably insane…..and he’s just handed them a huge metal weapon to beat on him with……

…..and beat on him they do…..

…..as soon as the bell rings the ladder aspect to this “match” goes right out of the window for Sandman and Funk, because they go straight for Credible, brawling around ringside before finally tossing him into the crowd as they beat the snot out of the 24 year old upstart…..

…..eventually Funk and Sandman get bored of abusing Credible and turn their attention to each other, and Credible's game plan becomes clear as he bides his time and waits for his two opponents to be occupied with each other, before attempting to climb that ladder, getting close to snatching the title a number of times, but getting stopped in the nick of time on each occasion…..

…..they go through a couple of ladders here too…..Sandman lays one between the between the apron and the guardrail, laying Credible on top before leaping off the turnbuckles with a leg drop that breaks both the ladder AND his opponent in two…..

…..Funk goes to an old faithful of his as he places a ladder on his head and spins around like a deranged helicopter, smashing the steel into the faces of both Credible and Sandman…..

…..Sandman drops a trash can over the head and then begins beating the holy hell out of it with a Singapore Cane…..Credible again tries to use this opportunity to climb the ladder to retrieve the title, but Sandman realises at the last second and rolls into the ring, upending the ladder and sending Justin flying from high above the ring and crashing down through a table on the floor that puts him out of commission for some time……

…..Funk and Sandman continue to beat on each other while Credible is down, culminating in Funk piledriving the Champion through a table on the outside…..

…..Terry takes his time sliding a ladder into the ring, and by the time he’s done setting it up his two opponents are beginning to pull themselves back to their feet on the outside…..Funk sees this and repositions the ladder by the ropes, climbs up…..and like the crazy old man that he is, hits a moonsault from the ladder inside the ring, down to the floor, and on top of his two opponents…..

…..all three men are bleeding like crazy…..Funk is first back to his feet and heads back inside the ring…..he positions the ladder and climbs, and is finger tips away from the gold when the Sandman climbs up to meet him…..the two men trade blows at the top, before Funk finally gets the upper hand, hitting Sandman with a series of headbutts, before shoving the champion backwards off the ladder…..

…..Funk takes a moment to regain his senses (what’s left of them anyway) before again attempting to reach for the title…..Credible is back in the ring and climbing the ladder though…..

…..and he has a Singapore Cane wrapped in barbed wire in his hand…..

…..he reaches the top and is met straight away by the fists of the veteran, and again Funk goes for the heatbutt that worked with Sandman…..it does shake Credible, but it knocks Funk silly too after only performing the same series of blows a few moments ago…..

…..Credible lays the barbed wire cane across the top of the ladder and slams Funk face first into it a few times, knocking him even loopier, before snatching up the weapon, winding back, and nailing Funk full force between the eyes with the barbed wire weapon…..

…..Funk wobbles…..then falls backwards with a flat back bump to the mat…..

…..Credible reaches up…..

…..unhooks the title…..

…..and we have a brand new ECW Champion…..

…..and that’s not just the coolest, that’s not just the best……

…..that my friends…..

…..is Justin Credible…..

Winner: and New ECW Champion…..Justin Credible
Rating: B

…..Credible is a broken and bloody mess, but Buford T. Pinkerton is out there quick as a flash to help his hand picked representative to his feet…..

…..the crowd are far from pleased and (this being an ECW crowd) are very vocal about their displeasure…..Buford and Credible could care less though, as they celebrate the victory…..

…..they are somewhat rudely interrupted by the arrival of one Paul E. Dangerously though, who comes walking out with microphone in hand…..

…..he tells Buford that since the event is now over, he can tell him exactly how he feels about him without danger of closure and denying this crowd the event that they paid to see…..

”…..and how I feel about you ‘sir’…..is that you’re a fat…corporate…bureaucratic piece of sh!t…and the only thing stopping me from coming down there and slapping the crap out of you myself, is that we still need to hold events in your state…..

…..but believe me when I say, you can’t protect your chosen little pet project there indefinitely…..

…..in FACT…..

…..next month…..

…..you won’t be able to protect him at all…..

…..because we will be holding a little event on pay-per-view, called Wrestlepalooza…..

…..and the Pennsylvania Athletic Committee won’t have to worry about it being too violent…..too hardcore…..too extreme…..

…..because it will be coming from the Elks Lodge…..

…..in New York City, New York…..

…..so you sir….

…..can respectfully….

…..kiss MY New York ass…..”

…..Credible and Buford aren’t happy about this development, particularly when Dangerously tells them that if they thought tonight was hardcore, just wait and see how extreme things are going to be next month…..

”…..because I have an entire locker room waiting to make you bleed like the little b!tch that you are…..

…..good luck ‘champ’…..

…..you’re going to need it…..”

Rating: B+

Final Rating: B