Week 2, February 1993
Manhattan Centre (New York, New York)
ATT: 1000
TV RATING: 3.99
Announce Team: Vince McMahon, Jerry “The King” Lawler & Rob Bartlett
Those sirens are blaring, which can mean only one thing - it must be time for WWF Monday Night Raw -
”- uncut -“
“- uncooked -“
“- and uncensored -“And our announce team this evening is Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett and (since Vince informs us that the Macho Man will NOT be in attendance tonight due to a contract dispute relating to his desire to work the announce desk AND compete in the WWF ring) Jerry Lawler, who is filling in for Randy Savage -
Vince tells us that we have a packed show lined up this evening, including a very special main event which will see Money Inc (Ted DiBiase and IRS) put the WWF Tag Team Titles on the line against the pairing of Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake (making his in ring return after almost two and a half years on the sidelines) and his partner, the Big Bossman -
”- and if you ask me Jerry Lawler, I think that Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster’s tag team championships, could very well be around the waists of the Barber and the Bossman by the end of this evening -“
“- well fortunately nobody did ask you - because if you think for one second that a moron like the Big Bossman, and a guy who’s face is held together by a thread can beat Money Incorporated, then I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you McMahon -“Vince says be that as it may, we WILL see that main event this evening, and speaking of champions (as the music of Bret Hart begins to play) we are about to be joined by the WWF Champion Bret Hart -
Who we can only assume is here to respond to the challenge made by Bam Bam Bigelow last week -
Rating: N/A
And that is indeed what the Hitman is out here to address - as Vince McMahon welcomes the WWF Champion into the ring -
Vince takes this opportunity to congratulate Bret on his victory over Razor Ramon at the 1993 Royal Rumble, but says the opponents just keep coming - and they keep getting bigger, and keep get badder -
”- and as if the 506lb shadow of Yokozuna looming over whomever the WWF Champion is come Wrestlemania, now there is the (no small) matter of the Beast from the East to contend with - because Bret, Bam Bam Bigelow has officially challenged YOU, to a match for the WWF Championship at Saturday Night Main event, in just three weeks time -“Bret agrees with Vince, saying that the task of being the World Wrestling Federation Champion doesn’t get any easier over time - he says that with every challenge turned away there’s a new opponent to contend with - one that poses different challenges to the last -
”- and I wouldn’t have it any other way -
“- if there’s one thing I’ve always strived to be, it’s the best - I don’t call myself the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be because it’s a fancy catchphrase - I truly believe I am the best wrestler in the WWF - the best wrestler in this business, period - and I will face anyone and everyone to prove that -“ Bret says that since capturing this WWF Title he’s (successfully) defended it against a plethora of different opponents and styles - from a technical wrestler like Ric Flair, brawlers like Skinner, athletic opponents like Shawn Michaels and Virgil, bigger guys like Papa Shango - bigger brawlers like Razor Ramon -
”- I’ve never backed down from a challenge or a fight in my life, and I’m not about to start now I’m the WWF Champion -
“- so Bam Bam Bigelow - Beast from the East - whatever you want to call yourself - I accept your challenge, and I will face you at Saturday Nights Main Event, for this title right here - but you’re going to find out, exactly the same thing that everyone else has found out - and the same thing that Yokozuna is going to find out at Wrestlemania - and that’s that when you step into the ring with the Excellence of Execution, the bigger they are, the harder they fall - because I will chop you down to the mat - and whether you’re 300lbs, 400, 500lbs - when you’re flat on your back, you’re only a few seconds away from getting caught in the Sharpshooter - and when that happens, it’s all over -
“- don’t believe me? Just ask Razor Ramon -“Bret says that whether it’s Bam Bam Bigelow at Saturday Nights Main Event, or Yokozuna at Wrestlemania - the result is going to be the same - they will get Excellently Executed by the WWF Champion -
Vince says that he guesses that’s official then - we will see the Hitman defend the World Wrestling Federation Championship against Bam Bam Bigelow, just a few short weeks from now at Saturday Nights Main Event -
Let’s have our first match -
Rating: B-
And our first match sees two men who were actually name dropped by the Hitman a moment ago in action - as Virgil goes one-on-one with the Bag Guy, Razor Ramon -
As Bret Hart alluded to earlier, Razor Ramon did indeed fail in his effort to become the WWF Champion at the Royal Rumble - so he is looking to save face here as he goes up against the former Million Dollar Champion -
And save face he does -
Virgil (Wrestling Superstar) does have some offence against the Bad Guy - but not enough to pick up the victory - and it’s Ramon that leaves with his hand raised, after dropping his opponent with the Razors Edge -
Rating: B-
Winner: Razor Ramon
Vince is on a mission to find out the answers to the challenges levied last week clearly - as he climbs into the ring now to speak to Razor Ramon regarding the words from Mr. Perfect on last weeks Event Centre -
Vince says that Mr. Perfect has made it clear that after ridding the WWF of Ric Flair, that Razor Ramon (and Narcissist if need be) are next on his hit list - a statement that Ramon smirks at -
He tells McMahon that Perfect must be crazy to want any of Razor Ramon - crazy stupid too if he thinks he’s on the Bad Guy’s level -
”- because Perfecto - you ain’t so perfect mang - in fact, you not even good enough to lace Razors boot -“Razor says that sure, Savage and Perfect beat him and Flair at the 1992 Survivor Series - but clearly (since Perfect beat the Nature Boy last month on Raw) the weak link wasn’t Razor -
”- so I’ll tell you what Chico - you wanna mess with Razor? Okay, Razor will play - but it’s gonna be by MY rules mang - you want Razor? We’ll first you gotta prove you can beat Razor, and Chico, I don’t think you can -“McMahon is somewhat confused by that, asking Ramon exactly how Perfect can prove he can beat Razor unless he actually meets him in the ring? -
Razor says that’s simple - because it seems like there are people than Perfecto that are wanting matches with people out of their league - and Razor, he’s found a partner that has the same problem as Ramon (being challenged by a lesser opponent) so what he proposes, is a tag team match at Saturday Nights Main Event - and if Perfect and his partner can win that match (which they won’t) THEN (and only then) will they get the matches that they want -
McMahon reluctantly accepts that this is a reasonable proposition - before asking Ramon who his partner is going to be? - an question which Razor says he will answer right now -
”- so say hello - to my little friend -“ 
His “little friend” apparently being the WWF Intercontinental Champion, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels - who dances his way down to the ring to join Ramon -
Michaels says that just like Razor Ramon, he’s got a guy with so much audacity challenging him, that he ACTUALLY thinks that he’s worthy of a shot at the Intercontinental Champ -
”- and that someone - is you Tonto -“Vince tells Shawn to come on - asking him how he can say that the undefeated Tatanka (not Tonto!) is undeserving of a shot at the Intercontinental Championship? -
”- especially when he very obviously has a better win/loss record than even you Mr. Michaels -“Shawn rolls his eyes at that, and readjusts his hair in the “reflection” of the Intercontinental Title belt - he tells McMahon that wins and losses don’t mean squat -
”- what matters are results - I have the Intercontinental Championship, Tonto does not - in fact, Tonto hasn’t had ANY Championships around his waist since he’s been here - all he’s done is beat a bunch of scrubs - he wants a shot at this belt, at MY belt, then he’s going to have to earn it - and Vinnie, I don’t think he can -“Vince continues to argue that Tatanka has more than earned a title opportunity around here, never the less, he is sure that both Tatanka and Mr. Perfect will be willing to “prove their worth” -
”- so long as you two gentlemen are willing to ‘put up’, should they make you ‘shut up’ by defeating you at Saturday Nights Main Event -“Razor says that he’ll make McMahon shut up if he doesn’t watch his mouth -
”- as for Perfecto and the Indian - at Saturday Nights Main Event - the Heartbreak Kid and the Bad Guy - we gonna carve - them - up -“Rating: B
We show a brief re-cap of the Steiner Brothers getting assaulted by the Beverly Brothers on this past episode of Superstars, before heading to the ring - where Beau and Blake are in action against the Bushwhackers -
The Beverlys have made it clear that they think they should be leapfrogging the Steiners when it comes to time for the post Saturday Nights Main Event tag team title challengers - and they back up that claim here by making short work of the Bushwhackers -
Fun fact about the Bushwhackers - I detest them ALMOST (almost!) as much as I detest that two by four wielding moron Jim Duggan - which is why they quickly fell to the Shaker Heights Spike here this evening -
Rating: D-
Winner(s): The Beverly Brothers
From there we go over to the Saturday Nights Main Event Report, with Lord Alfred Hayes - who reminds us that this special event is only a few short weeks away -
”- and as we found out earlier in this evening, WWF Champion Bret Hart, has accepted the challenge of the fearsome Bam Bam Bigelow - and these two gentlemen will indeed clash at Saturday Nights Main Event -“Hayes says not only have we had word that this match has officially been signed, but in breaking news, the tag team bout suggested by Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels has also been sanctioned - meaning that these two gentlemen will indeed team up to face the pairing of Mr. Perfect and Tatanka -
His Lordship says that the WWF Championship won’t be the only title up for grabs at this event, because the Nasty Boys will be challenging the winners of tonight’s WWF Tag Team Title match - whomever that may be - before sending us to word from Knobbs and Sags -
And the Nastys, they don’t care who they face -
They say that sure, it would be all that sweeter to take the gold away from that little loudmouth punk Jimmy Hart and Money Inc - but if they have to face Brutus Beefcake and the Big Bossman, then that’s exactly what they’ll do -
”- because we’ve been waiting too long to get those titles back around our waists - and at Saturday Nights Main Event, if it’s Beefcake and Bossman, then we’ll show them what Nasty Sensation is all about -“
“- but if it’s you Money Incorporated - and we really, really hope it is - then you bring that little runt Jimmy Hart - and IRS, bring that briefcase too - because when we are done with you, we are going to be filing a tax return of our own - briefcase and all - right down Jimmy Harts throat -“
Speaking of tag teams - the Steiner Brothers remind everyone (as they were saying before they were rudely interrupted by the Beverlys this past week) that THEY want a shot at the tag team gold too -
But since the champions will already be busy that night, they’ll settle for the Beverlys instead -
”- BECAUSE BEVERLYS - ME AND MY BROTHER, WE AREN'T THE TYPE OF GUYS TO LET THINGS SLIDE - YOU WANNA JUMP US FROM BEHIND? YOU WON’T BE THE FIRST, AND YOU PROBABLY WON’T BE THE LAST - BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT IF YOU COME FOR THE STEINER’S FACE ON, YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR FACE TAKEN OFF! -“
“- BEVERLY BROTHERS! - IT’S LIKE ANOTHER GUY FROM ROUND HERE SAID - WE’RE HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW GUM - ‘CEPT UNLIKE HIM, WE AREN'T OUT OF GUM - WE JUST DON’T LIKE IT - AND WE DON’T LIKE YOU EITHER - SO WHEN WE’RE DONE WITH YOU - AT SATURDAY NIGHTS MAIN EVENT - JUST LIKE THAT OLD GUM, THEY’RE GONNA BE SCRAPING YOUR FACES UP OFF THE MAT! -“
From there we head over to what are supposed to be words from Narcissist - where we were SUPPOSED to get a response from the challenge of El Matador - problem is that someone left a mirror in the interview area, so Luger is more interested in flexing his biceps than answering any questions - so much so that we actually finally hear the camera man telling him that the tape is rolling -
Luger could care less though - continuing to flex and admire his reflection as the hapless camera operator tries to prompt him to discuss the challenge made by El Matador -
Eventually the cameraman gives up, letting us know that ‘that’s a wrap’, as we leave the Narcissist to enjoy his own image -
And head over to words from the man who won the 1993 Royal Rumble match (and staked his claim to a shot at the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania - Yokozuna -
Or rather his manager anyway - because it’s Mr. Fuji that does all the talking -
He says that at the Royal Rumble, his Yokozuna showed why he is the most superior man in the World Wrestling Federation - he says that his Yokozuna can’t be beat - can’t be stopped - can’t be contained - and that his Yokozuna is going to take that WWF Championship, and take it back to Japan, where they will finally restore some honour to the title -
”- BANZAI! -“Yeah - Yokozuna could really do with a mouthpiece that can actually cut a promo - I’ll have to work on that -
But for now, Alfred signs off and sends us back down to the announce team -
Rating: B
Where we have the Ugandan Giant, Kamala (with the Reverend Slick) facing off against the Canadian Model, Rick Martel -
Kamala has found himself in the unusual role of babyface these last few weeks - after (with the help of Slick) breaking free of the abuse of Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee, to be told that he is indeed a man, not a beast -
That being said, he still wrestles with the same savage offence - and yes, still doesn’t fully understand the rules of a wrestling match - these two had a pretty decent match, with Kamala looking like he was going to pick up the victory after crushing Martel with a huge splash across the back -
Unfortunately he still hasn’t mastered the art of the pinfall, attempting to cover Martel while he lay face down on the mat (hooking the leg and all) and when Slick frantically indicated for him to roll Martel over, he wound up rolling the Model right out of the ring -
Clearly Martel has had enough by this point - and snatches up his atomiser, before spraying Slick right in the face with his ‘Arrogance’ scent -
Slick drops to the floor, clutching his eyes in agony, leading to a confused Kamala rolling to the outside to check on him - and despite Slick trying to convince him to return to the ring, Kamala is too concerned with the health of the only man to ever treat him with kindness to realise that he is being counted out -
Your winner - Rick Martel - who quickly heads to the back -
Rating: C
Winner: Rick Martel (via Countout)
As we try and get some help to the Reverend Slick, we cut away to something closely resembling an old Wild West scene - with two cowboys riding the trail -
The shot is backed to music, with numerous cut scenes of the two men performing quick draw demonstrations and riding rodeo and the like, before closing with five simple words displayed on the screen -
”- THE SMOKING GUNNS ARE COMING -“Rating: D
WWF Tag Team Championship MatchThe Smoking Gunns are indeed coming Vince McMahon tells us - before saying that he’s sure that those two gentlemen will be watching our next match up very closely - because it’s our WWF Tag Team Championship main event -
This match was made on last weeks Monday Night Raw (save for who Beefcakes partner would be, which was revealed on Superstars) when Money Inc made it clear that they had some bad intentions in regards to the surgically repaired face of the Barber -
They didn’t get chance to act on that initially - considering the fact that Beefcake and Bossman were as cobbled together a team as you could get, they actually out performed the Champions at the start of this one - sending DiBiase and Schyster scrambling to the outside to regroup -
Regroup they do, with IRS and Jimmy Hart drawing the attention of the Bossman (and the official) so that DiBiase can blindside Beefcake -
With the Bossman stuck in the corner, Money Inc cut the ring in half and start going to work on Beefcake - and they really do hone in on that surgically repaired face, with punches, kicks and strikes into the turnbuckles -
It’s worth mentioning (after spending his time on Superstars calling Bossman an idiot and laughing at Doinks antics when he “maced” the big man from Cobb County) that Jerry Lawler spends the majority of his time here either insulting, or calling the Bossman an idiot -
Something that was perhaps not as unfounded as Vince McMahon makes out -
Because as Beefcake finally frees himself from the grips of Money Inc and drags himself to the corner to make the tag, there’s no one there -
That’s because Doink has made his way out from the back to torment the Bossman some more - and he’s got an oversized mallet over his shoulder -
Bossman jumps down from the apron and chases the Clown to the back, but (as a spilt screen camera shot shows us) when the Bossman parts the curtains to go through to the backstage area, he’s cracked in the back of the head by the mallet wielding Doink (who had stopped short in anticipation) who then erupts in a fit of laughter -
And left alone against the tag team champions proves too much for Beefcake - especially in what is his first match in two and a half years - and despite his best efforts, he finally succumbs to the Million Dollar Dream -
Rating: C+
Winner(s): Money Inc (retain the WWF Tag Team Championship)
Seemingly not happy with just retaining their championships however, Money Inc look to do what they said they were going to do, as they continue to beat down on the helpless (and practically unconscious) Beefcake - focusing entirely on the facial region -
Vince McMahon is aghast at the assault (even going so far as to say that is the Macho Man was here, he wouldn’t be trying to hold him back from getting physical to prevent this) before insinuating that perhaps Jerry Lawler could assist -
Lawler says that Beefcake has this coming - and the only assisting he would be doing, would be to assist Money Inc! -
Even Jimmy Hart can’t watch anymore, as he tries to talk his clients out of the savage beating they are delivering, but DiBiase and IRS aren’t listening, going so far as to shove Jimmy to one side so that they can continue the attack -
Finally they relent - but only long enough for DiBiase to drag Beefcake back to his feet, while IRS retrieves that briefcase - clearly they are looking to permanently re-injure the surgically repaired face of the Barber -
Jimmy Hart has seen enough, physically placing himself between Beefcake and Schyster, telling IRS not to do it - but Money Inc have clearly heard enough from their manager, and Schyster slugs him in the jaw with a right hand, before tossing him to the outside -
And with the Bossman down in the back (courtesy of Doink) there is no one else to stop the inevitable, as IRS runs across the ring and drives that briefcase square into the face of Beefcake, who crumples to the mat -
Jimmy Hart crawls back into the ring and throws himself over the broken Barber for protection, looking to sacrifice his own body, but clearly Money Inc are satisfied with the damage they have done - they head to the back looking extremely pleased with themselves, as a disgusted Vince McMahon signs us off -
We’ll see you on Superstars - hopefully with an update on the condition of Brutus Beefcake -
Rating: B
Final Rating: C
