The Story of Legion Professional Wrestling

Arquette addresses Mike Awesome's requesting to main event LEGION's show in April. He has agreed and has found the best opponent for him, it took some time and a few of his original options were already taken. First Arquette wanted Masato Tanaka due to their history in ECW, but he got signed to NJPW earlier this year; his next option was Minoru Suzuki, a MMA fighter from the Japanese promotion Pancrase who had a badass reputation about him. He was close to signing him until he found out there was someone else closer to home who'd be willing to take up the challenge of facing Mike Awesome, an old desperado you would say. Arquette asks the audience to please welcome Mike Awesome's opponent for next month's event, Terry Funk!

Terry Funk: Awesome, I know you son, at least I sort of did. Before you and I shared a locker room in the last full year of WCW's existence, we shared a locker room in FMW. A little story for you all by Uncle Terry, in 1996 FMV saw the arrival of the Puerto Rican Army, not the actual army of Puerto Rico but a group ran Victor Quiñones, son of the late great Gorilla Monsoon. I would later in the same year not only join the group, but I would actually takeover leadership of the group and renamed it to something more fitting, that being the Funk Masters of Wrestling. Around the same time, a giant mofo by the name of The Gladiator would also join us, from then onwards through the rest of '96 to '97 we would rough shot over Onita's passion project called FMV. Unfortunately, the good times wouldn't last for us as we would suffer one of if not our biggest humiliations at the 8th Anniversary Show where we lost all but one match we were booked on. Later on, after the promotion's Fall Spectacular event, I would take a hiatus from wrestling for a while and in the mean the Funk Masters would dissolve by the end of '97.
    But why did it dissolve Mike? It was because you son, the man formerly known as The Gladiator decided to backstab one of his own in the back. If I were there when you did that, I would've fried your a** like a $2 steak, piledrivered ya' through every table in the building, and then parade your severed head all round Tokyo on my branding iron! Since then, son you've just further proved my point, you're a snake, when things don't go your way, you're willing to raise all sorts of hell if it meant you'd be in a better position. You did it in FMW, you did it in ECW, and you were willing to do it LEGION Pro Wrestling. But that won't happen here, unlike those other times Awesome, the Funker is here to set you right. This time I'm going to show what happens to a snake like you when someone middle aged and crazy like a fox like me turns around and mauls you alive, but left conscious enough in time for to say "Please Mr. Terry Funk, don't hurt me anymore". That's where it'll happen, everyone who witnesses our match will see what kind of a man Mike Awesome really is.
    If I had to give you one bit of advice sonny, it's this. The man I saw in Japan, is a different man from when he entered WCW, heck even when he was ECW he was a different man. If you want to survive out match Awesome, look deep inside your gut and find that Gladiator side of you again, cause if you don't it's only a matter of time before the Funker's prophecy is fulfilled and any respect you had from these fans go up in smoke. Don't just bring him because I told you too, do it because is going to be one bloody affair, Mr. Arquette has also given me the privilege of choosing what kind of match we'll be in, and I chose the one match where no matter where you, no matter where you hide, you're going to face the manifestation of all your wrestling demons Awesome. Our match next month will be...

FALLS! COUNT! ANYWHERE!

Rating: 53