WrestleMania XXIV

Date: March 30th, 2008

Location: Florida Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida

Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Attendance: 74,635

The Biggest WrestleMania Under the Sun

Jim Ross welcomes us to the event and introduces the rest of the announcing cast; the ECW guys even get a table, not that they’ll be needed for very long. Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem, and then a video package highlights all of the different angles and matches that have led to our event tonight.

Belfast Brawl: John Bradshaw Layfield v Finlay w/ Hornswoggle

The end of a storyline that has enthralled the world of professional wrestling finally finds a resolution. The ‘illegitimate son’ of Vince McMahon was initially revealed as Hornswoggle until JBL broke the news that Finlay was the real father. As with all things, this shocking reveal must find its conclusion in the ring, and is done so in a Belfast Brawl, which, of course, definitely favours Finlay.

An opener that doesn’t quite thrill the crowd, who take this opportunity to beat the lines and get their drinks and hot dogs, and who can blame them when the Money in the Bank ladder match is up next. Seats are half empty as JBL beats Finlay with all sorts of weapons; trash can lids, kendo sticks, and he even tries to use the Shillelagh - but to no avail! Finlay ducks, and takes this one to the outside. Hornswoggle keeps his distance, remembering the vicious beatdown he endured at the hands of JBL inside a steel cage a few weeks ago on RAW.

After some ringside action the fellas get back in and do a wee bit of ‘proper wrestling’ before it all descends into fisticuffs once more. Finlay tries to light up JBL but one moment of hesitation and he GETS HIS HEAD DAMN NEAR BLASTED OFF with a Clothesline FROM TEXAS From Hell and gets the 3 count. After the match Hornswoggle gets a bit too close to the ring and JBL launches a trash can lid that bounces off his dome sending him flying backwards into the Raw announce table. JR is SHOCKED.

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Mr Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner will receive a contract that can be cashed in for a title shot at any of the Heavyweight title belts. The contract is valid for 1 year.

Crazy bumps, over the top spots, and Shelton Benjamin doing something wild from a ladder - in this case being tipped from the top of a ladder in the ring through a ladder straddling the apron to the barricade. This had it all. All six men looked great here and got their spots in before John Morrison, equipped with a ladder, wiped everyone out with a moonsault. CM Punk and Chris Jericho were the first, and only, two to recover and both men made the long, slow climb back into the ring and then up the ladder. Punk looked set to get the briefcase first until Jericho pulled his legs out from under him, hanging him in a tree of woe from the ladder rungs. Jericho then climbed and calmly retrieved the briefcase that grants him a guaranteed title shot against any of the Heavyweight Champions from any three of the brands for the next 365 days (starting from…..now!). 

Winner: Chris Jericho

Battle of the Brands: Batista vs. Umaga

If you thought the opener was a hard hitting affair, well, you’d be right, but add in 117 pounds - I checked. I thought it would be more but JBL is a big boy - and this one surely is going to raise the roof. Right? Yes! Batista came into this as the babyface defending the HONOUR of RAW (because the brands are like gangs, obviously) against the audacity of Umaga from that filthy disease ridden blue brand *spits*. Basically a way to get on the show, HHH decided that Vince’s original plan of just having a match to have a match wasn’t enough, so Umaga attacked Batista a couple of times through March, costing him a match he had for the US Title against MVP so they are going to have a match! The original plan had Batista overcoming the heelish monster Umaga, but on the night the crowd cheered everything Umaga did and booed Batista relentlessly. So, in a decision that would have massive consequences for him personally, Big Dave called an audible.

The early match was straight forward but it started to settle into a pattern of Batista firing back and Umaga putting him right back down. The crowd were absolutely eating it up. A chop from Umaga (WOO!). A right hand from Batista (BOO!). A lariat from Umaga (YEAHHH!). A spinebuster from Batista (BOO!). A nerve hold (it’s barely been four minutes guys?) from Umaga (YEAHHH!) and Dave Batista is thinking to himself: I do not want to win and get booed out of the arena. How did it come to this? Only a year ago he had a 4 star match with Undertaker (yeah Batista reads the dirt sheets, so what?), and now? Well, let’s make this work.

Batista fired back with some offence as the crowd made this displeasure known, before Umaga cut him off with a samoan drop to mass applause. Umaga followed his cues perfectly and every time the crowd got riled up at some Big Dave offence, Umaga cut him off. Both men headed outside and brawled for a bit with Batista finally getting the upper hand - and the crowd got going again. Is this real heat!? Batista looks to throw Umaga through the steel steps but gets reversed and he crashes through and is laid out. The referee begins to count. We won’t count along, but imagine it’s SO TENSE, the crowd are chanting along and we get to six as Batista stirs. The crowd CRY “SEVEN!” but Batista is clambering in. Umaga rolls right out and BAM. Samoan Spike. He rolls back in again and we begin the whole charade ONE MORE TIME. This time we get to eight and Umaga drags Batista in, SPINEBUSTER!! Batista nails it out of nowhere but he can’t capitalise.

The ref begins the count, and this one has already gone on thirty seven seconds longer than planned so the voices in his ear are yelling GO HOME, but the ref stays calm and doesn’t rush the count. Both men get up at eight, trade punches, before Batista misses and THE SAMOAN SPIKE lays him out. Umaga covers, the referee makes a slightly hesitant three count, and the crowd go bananas. Umaga wins, and you’d think Hogan had just body slammed Andre, but the crowd were sick of having Batista rammed down their throats, and they ate up every last bit of this one.

Winner: Umaga

ECW Title: Chavo Guerrero © vs. Kane

Kane earned this title shot by winning a pre-show 20 man battle royal.

This one lasted eleven seconds, kicking The Hart Foundation’s nineteen second victory over The Bolshevik’s at Wrestlemania VI down to second spot. Kane snuck into the ring behind Chavo, and by the time Chavito realised what was going on, it was far too late. The bell rang, Kane grabbed Chavo by the throat, and one chokeslam later the match was over and we have a NEW ECW Heavyweight Champion in the Big Red Machine.

Winner: Kane

As soon as Kane is handed the belt he grabs a can from beneath the ring which happens to be full of gasoline. He pours gasoline all over the title and sets the belt on fire whilst holding it aloft in the air before finally tossing it to the ground, charred and slightly melted, and then he leaves the ring with it. On commentary, Joey Styles and Tazz lose their minds over what they’ve just witnessed whilst the crowd is either too stunned to speak, or they forgot that the ECW brand even had a heavyweight belt to begin with. Tazz says that this spits on the legacy of ECW - although in many ways it honours their humble origins ceding from the NWA way back when. Of course none of that is mentioned on the show, they just repeat words like outrageous, and audacity, until they are saved by a cut to a backstage segment with Snoop Dogg who can’t believe he missed the Lumberjill Match because he slept in. Get it!?, he was probably high - and certainly not that creative bumped the women to a pre-show match and forgot to rearrange Snoop’s appearance and to update the event card.

Career Threatening Match: Shawn Michaels v Ric Flair

If Ric Flair loses, he has to retire.

We get a video package that documents how we got here™, starting with Vince McMahon declaring that any and every singles match Ric Flair wrestled in would have the stipulation that, if he lost, he would have to retire. Flair says he can’t imagine risking it all against anyone greater than Shawn Michaels. It got a bit heated somewhere along the way as Shawn told the story of Old Yeller, and how he was going to put Flair down. 

Full of emotion and a trip through memory lane as both men got all their spots in, especially Flair. We had rudimentary chops (WOO!), strutting around the ring, a low blow whilst distracting the referee (for a near-fall!), and a couple of crazy moonsaults, both of which Flair dodged out of the way leaving HBK to crash and burn. Flair works the knee through the match and almost gets Shawn to tap out to the figure four, but he makes it to the ropes to break the hold. They go back and forth with near falls but all of a sudden…WHAM! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! It’s only enough for two but Flair is out on his feet as the crowd roar at his heart to keep fighting. Shawn mutters his iconic “I’m sorry, I love you.” before putting Naitch down for the pinfall with another Sweet Chin Music.

Winner: Shawn Michaels

An emotionally charged affair that was a fitting final chapter for one of the greatest to ever grace the squared circle. As Flair gets to his feet after the match, the whole house gives him a standing ovation and he drinks it in for one last time. Whilst Flair would only make one further appearance on WWE television for the rest of 2008, he would work behind the scenes with Triple H to launch the new brand in the summer and also act as mentor to a couple of the rookies from Shawn Michaels’ affiliated Texas Wrestling Academy.

Edge is backstage with Todd Grisham explaining that HE TOO is undefeated at WrestleMania (not winning a MITB match obviously doesn’t count) and tonight he will do what everybody else couldn’t do, and that is to end the streak. He recalls being a kid in the crowd at WrestleMania VI and watching his favourite wrestler WWF Champion Hulk Hogan in the main event against WWF Intercontinental Champion Ultimate Warrior, where the winner takes both belts. That night, however, Hogan didn’t go over, and Edge was devastated at this. He knows some kids look at Undertaker the same way he looked at Hogan, and tonight they’re all going to know how he felt eighteen years ago when he wins tonight.

We get a recap of the show so far and the all important HALL OF FAME! This year’s inductees are: ’The Nature Boy’ Ric Flair, ‘High Chief’ Peter Maivia, ‘Soulman’ Rocky Johnson, Mae Young, Eddie Graham, Gordon Solie, and Jack and Gerald Brisco (The Brisco Brothers).

United States Title Match: Montel Vontavious Porter © vs. Matt Hardy

After the high emotional stakes of Ric Flair’s final match, MVP and Matt Hardy deliver a much more sombre affair. The story here is that Matt and MVP were at odds last year vying for the US Title until they were inadvertently partnered together and won the WWE Tag Team titles. MVP side-lined Matt with a vicious attack after they lost the belts to Morrison and Miz. On Smackdown two days ago, Matt returned, costing MVP his match against Chris Jericho. 

Lots of chain wrestling and jockeying for position early with simple arm drag and suplex exchanges, the two men put on a strong basic performance with no big spots or shenanigans. MVP at one point rolls out of the ring, but otherwise this was pretty much by-the-book wrestling 101 as you can get. MVP looked to hit The Playmaker but Matt reversed and hit the side effect for two. Second rope leg-drop misses as MVP rolls out of the way and BLASTS Matt with a running boot. He sets up for the Playmaker again but Matt escapes, hits the Twist of Fate, and gets the three count, the win, and the United States Title.

Winner: Matt Hardy

MVP is absolutely shocked after the match and he offers Matt a handshake, but Matt shakes his head and leaves. Coachman at ringside is raging at Matt’s disrespect to a man who held the United States title for 316 days! “Our longest reigning US Champion!”. Cole reasons that MVP has shown he cannot be trusted, and there is no way that handshake was genuine. Coachman is absolutely shook by Cole’s words. In completely unrelated news, later that evening Morrison and Miz’s ‘The Dirt Sheet’ would post a photo of Lex Luger and Rick Rude with their respective United States Title victories, with Miz attempting (and failing) to get Coach on the phone during their live web show.

Up next is the first of our double header World Title matches; WWE Champion Randy Orton will defend the title against both Triple H and John Cena. Cena won the Rumble but cashed in his chance early at No Way Out, losing via disqualification after Randy put his hands on the referee. Cena demanded a rematch and defeated Orton the next night on RAW in a non-title match with HHH as the guest referee - Hunter had won a number one contenders match to face Orton at Mania. With Cena’s win, RAW General Manager William Regal made the WrestleMania 24 match a three way for Orton’s WWE title.

WWE Title: Randy Orton © vs. John Cena vs. Triple H

Cena had a marching band to play him down to the ring which gets heavily jeered by the crowd to the point you’d think Hunter was the big babyface taking down two dirty stinking heels, such is the Cena effect. Orton is the official heel so Trips and Cena take turns getting the heat on him before he ducks out of the ring and leaves Cena and HHH to stare one another down. Lots of pointing and jabbering until Hunter lights Cena up with a chop, they trade blows but Orton sees his opportunity and takes out both men with a rope hung DDT. He pulls Cena out of the ring and tosses him through the steel steps.

Back in and Hunter cuts off Orton with a running knee and looks to follow that up with a spinebuster but Randy blocks and locks in a sleeper hold. Hunter fights back to his feet but then RKO! “OUTTA NOWHERE!”. He makes the cover but Cena breaks it up right away before pulling Orton into the STFU which wears Orton down but he manages to crawl to the ropes and rolls outside to take another breather. HHH is back up, so he and Cena pick up where they left off and trade their favourite moves; shoulder block, chop block, spinning sit out powerbomb, and even a knee smash, but Cena gets the better of the exchange with a duck and a bulldog! Five Knuckle Shuffle is set up but Orton looks to get involved. Cena ducks, FU! Orton got nailed. One…Two…KICK OUT! Cena can’t believe it but he doesn’t have much time to worry about that as HHH pulls him into an Indian Deathlock - “Vintage HHH” - only letting go as he notices Orton getting to his feet.

HHH cuts Orton off right away and both men exchange punches before Orton irish whips HHH into the corner and up and over the ropes to the outside. CENA IS UP! Orton turns around into a leg trip and ANOTHER STFU!! Orton starts crawling to the ropes slowly but he can’t quite get there so HHH reaches in from the outside and pulls Orton to the rope, breaking the hold, but then absolutely waffling Randy with a right hand for his troubles. “Cena Sucks!” resounds as HHH climbs into the ring and both men exchange Boo/Yay strikes which really gets the crowd going behind HHH. Cena gets the better of it and tries to get HHH up for an FU but gets blocked, Trips tries the Pedigree, blocked! Cena hits the back body and then follows up with a shoulder block! Five Knuckle Shuffle coming up.. and this time he hits it! BUT THEN ORTON OUT OF NOWHERE AGAIN!! RKO!! CENA IS OUT! ONE…TWO…HHH breaks it up!! HHH isn’t messing around and he hits a knee smash, a running knee and a spinebuster on Orton, readying him for the Pedigree. He hits it! Cena gets back up and FU ON TRIPLE H! Cena covers both men… 1…2…3! John Cena wins the WWE Heavyweight Title!! The crowd are absolutely pissed, a wall of noise deafening in its displeasure greets the new champion posing in the ring with the title aloft.

Winner: John Cena

Showcase Match: The Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather

The real test here was making this one go as long as absolutely possible before Show actually got his hands on Floyd. Bobbing and weaving only goes so far when your punches don’t land and your gigantic opponent is allowed to bearhug you. Show nearly grabs Floyd but one of Floyd’s entourage distracts Big Show, so he gets a massive chop off of the apron. Another pops up and gets a right hand, but then Floyd hits the sucker punch to the kidney! Big Show goes to one knee, BUT IT WAS A RUSE! He grabs Floyd by the throat and hoists him up to the top turnbuckle, but then another entourage member pops up - this time with a steel chair!! They had one idea for this match and they rinsed and repeated it until there are no entourage members left, and Floyd is all alone. Show chops him hard, and then proceeds to stomp on him and “methodically pick him apart” according to Coachman. Show goes for the chokeslam but one of the entourage has resurrected and he distracts Big Show whilst tossing Floyd some brass knuckles!! Oh my days. Big right hand knocks Big Show out legit - don’t try and tell me he’s just good at selling, I wont accept it. The referee counts to ten and this one is over!

Winner: Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather

World Heavyweight Title Match: Edge © vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker won Smackdown’s Elimination Chamber at No Way Out to earn this title match, but he also puts his infamous WrestleMania streak on the line. 15-0 going into this one, and whilst Edge claims his own undefeated streak (ignoring the MITB match he didn’t win - I guess he wasn’t explicitly beaten as such), it’s Edge’s World Heavyweight Title that he puts on the line. Big staredown as Edge stands toe to toe with the Deadman but Edge’s attempts to throw hands results in him getting lit up and clotheslined over the top rope and to the outside. Early brawling outside until Undertaker tosses Edge back in but he takes a little bit too long getting back in himself and Edge jumps him as he rolls in. Coachman is eager to remind us that the ‘Master Manipulator’ and ‘Ultimate Opportunist’ may be Undertaker’s most difficult opponent as Edge works over the lower back and when Taker tries to get some momentum going, he gets cut off. Even an attempt at going old school is reversed by Edge who is in complete control of the early portion of this match.

Edge takes a risk and goes up top, but he hasn’t done enough to keep Taker down and he throws Edge off the top rope to the outside with Edge landing hard on his back. The wind knocked out of him, he doesn’t even see Undertaker charging at him with a suicide dive over the top rope to the outside! Camera’s flash and the crowd pops hard for that one. Referee starts to count them both out but decides otherwise and rolls out to check on both men. Undertaker is first up and he places Edge on the apron for his signature leg drop, but the back is starting to give him some problems now and he winces as he lands. This gives Edge enough time to hit a dropkick to the back and then Edge takes this one outside, dropping Undertaker on and over the barricade with a back suplex, almost taking out a few members of the front row.

Jimmy Korderas eventually coaxes both men back in and Edge locks in a two minute leg lock forcing Taker to drag himself to the ropes. Edge breaks the hold and looks to drag Taker back to the middle but the Deadman fights him off and gets back up, both men trading rights and lefts (BOO! YAY!) until Edge can’t withstand the barrage of punches and he hits the ropes, ducks a clothesline but RUNNING LARIAT and Taker is getting fired up. He scoops Edge up and drops him on the turnbuckle with Snake Eyes, but the big boot follow up is dodged and Edge hits a dropkick for a two count! Only Maven can finish Taker with a dropkick, we all know that. Edge goes up top again, forgetting the landing last time, and a double axe handle fails as Taker grabs Edge by the throat, Edge kicks and fights his way out and IMPALER! 1..2..KICK OUT. Edge gets back up and in position for the spear as Taker gets up to his feet but Taker blocks with the knee, CHOKESLAM, 2 count!! Taker can’t believe Edge kicked out, and he drags the dazed Edge to the corner for OLD SCHOOL but Edge pulls Undertaker and crotches him on the top rope. Edge goes up for a top rope superplex and hits it!! Edge, unable to fully cover Undertaker, drapes an arm over for a 2 count. 

Both men are worse for wear and you have to think the next big move will be the end of this. We almost find out as Edge is working Taker over in the corner with punches but gets grabbed, lifted and hoisted up for a Last Ride, but manages to escape and hit a neckbreaker. Back up and Edge sends Taker off the ropes, clothesline misses, RUNNING DDT, 2 count! Now Taker signals for the Last Ride and Edge can’t block this one, landing hard. This has to be it, Taker covers…

One…Two…Th-NO! The crowd thought it was over, they thought that had to be it. Taker can’t believe it, and Edge has to have kicked out on instinct alone as he rolls out of the ring to try and gather himself. Taker follows him out and Edge trips him into the steel steps! Edge puts some distance between the two and gets back in as Korderas starts to count, but Undertaker is back in at six and he shrugs off Edge’s kicks and punches and grabs Edge by the throat, Edge wrangles free again and Taker’s big boot attempt misses Edge and NAILS THE REFEREE! Korderas is out cold! Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic but knows he can’t go for the cover. He begins to mock Taker who sits up and grabs Edge by the throat AGAIN but a low blow works on deadmen as well as it does against the living. Edge rolls out and in shades of last year’s Survivor Series he rips a camera from a ring tech who gets shoved hard into the announce table. Edge measures Taker as he gets to his feet and LEVELS him with the camera. Edge looks to rouse the referee who is hanging off the apron, but accidentally knocks Jimmy Korderas off the apron and to the outside!

Edge can’t believe it, and when he turns around he sees Taker sit up and has to wonder what the hell he has to do to keep this man down. He looks for the Tombstone Piledriver but Undertaker reverses, gets Edge up and hits the OG Tombstone Piledriver, but there is no referee! Taker folds the arms over in a pin out of habit AND HERE COMES CHARLES ROBINSON making an absolute beeline for the ring at full pelt. WrestleMania entrance ramps are no joke. He finally gets there…One…Two..THR-NO! Edge kicks out again from one of Taker’s signature moves, having already kicked out of the Chokeslam and the Last Ride. Hawkins and Ryder, not to be outdone by Charles Robinson, sprint down the ramp too, but to no avail as Taker punches Ryder off the apron, and then Chokeslams Hawkins out of the ring onto Ryder to leave them in a crumpled heap on the outside. Taker turns around and SPEAR!!! The distraction was enough for Edge to hit the spear! One..Two..KICKOUT! Edge crawls to the far corner and charges Taker, hits the spear, but he’s too tired to get any real impact and UNDERTAKER LOCKS IN A SINGLE ARM CHOKEHOLD!!! Edge fights and fights but he is in the middle of the ring and he has nowhere to go. He taps! Edge taps!! Undertaker wins!!! We have a new World Heavyweight Champion and the legendary WrestleMania streak remains unbroken. Edge gave everything he had, kickout of out every one of Taker’s signature moves, but even after eighteen years, Undertaker was resourceful enough to break out a new move that Edge had absolutely no counter for.

Winner: The Undertaker

The arena is bathed in a deep dark blue hue (try saying that quickly) and Undertaker celebrates in the ring on one knee, holding an arm up to the creatures of the night as Michael Cole tells us that this was Wrestlemania 24, thank you for watching, and can you believe it, we have a NEW World Heavyweight Champion!

—

Pre-Show Results:

1. 24-Man Battle Royal: Kane def. 24 others to become #1 contender for the ECW Heavyweight Title.

2. LumberJill Match: Beth Phoenix & Melina def. Ashley & Maria

Main Show Results:

1. Belfast Brawl: JBL def. Finlay [07:23]

2. Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Chris Jericho def. CM Punk, Carlito, John Morrison, Mr Kennedy, and Shelton Benjamin [13:07]

3. Battle of the Brands: Umaga def. Batista [09:11]

4. ECW Heavyweight Title: Kane def. Chavo Guerrero © [00:11]

5. Career Threatening Match: Shawn Michaels def. Ric Flair [18:14]

6. US Title: Matt Hardy def. MVP © [10:02]

7. WWE Title: John Cena def. Randy Orton © and Triple H [16:11]

8. Showcase Match: Floyd Mayweather def. The Big Show [10:21]

9. World Title: The Undertaker def. Edge © [24:03]
   
   

   ---

ECW on Sci-Fi - April 1, 2008

The show opens with a recap of Kane’s actions at WrestleMania. First we see him winning the battle royale, eliminating Mark Henry last to earn a title shot against Chavo Guerrero on the main card, and then we see his dominant eleven second put down of Chavo to take the belt from him. It was only then that things took a shocking turn as Kane pulled a can of gasoline from under the ring and poured it over his new championship and, pausing to light a match, dropped it on the belt and let it burn. The cries of despair from Joey Styles and Tazz at ringside sharply contrast the stunned silence of the crowd as Kane stomps out the flames and picks up the charred remnants of the ECW Heavyweight Title. 

Cue the opening credits.

The House of Hardcore

ECW’s General Manager Armando Estrada is already in the ring after the opening credits play in a brand new pristine white tuxedo with a large cuban cigar stuffed into his blazers front pocket. Standing beside the Big Red Machine, the new ECW Heavyweight Champion Kane, he breaks out into a Cheshire cat grin as he addresses the crowd. “Ah-ha! Last night at WrestleMania you saw the beginning of the end.” The fans get on Estrada’s back immediately so he pauses to soak it all in. “Espereté! As one story ends, so another must begin! Amigos, escucha, I am here tonight to announce that the end of ECW is so close, that el casa de hardcore shall be no more! This..”

Bad Dream hits the PA interrupting Estrada, and Tommy Dreamer is here! He looks absolutely pissed and Joey Styles and Tazz remark that it seems Estrada was behind Kane’s actions last night. 

“Let me get this straight, Armando. You’re the brains behind that stunt last night? You got your monkey to dance to your little tune and piss all over the history of ECW? That was you?”

“That won’t go down well with the sponsors!” remarks Joey Styles.

“Astute as always Tommy! Yes, of course, it’s been me all along! Ah-ha!” Dreamer starts to make his way to the ring but Kane moves across and blocks his way in so Dreamer hangs back, contemplating his next move. “Ah-ha! I would think before you act Tommy, Kane is not so, how you say, tired, from his match last night. Besides, have you been so blind not to see that your ECW spirit passed on a long time ago amigo. Me taking the ECW campeonato is just finishing the job you started ha!”

“You’re right, things have changed, and not for the better. ECW, the original, real ECW, was the greatest time in my life. Brick by bloodstained brick we built this house, and I’ll be damned if I stand by and let you do any more damage to the place that I love.”

“E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!”

“I don’t care who or what you have standing next to you, I will fight tooth and nail for the legacy of ECW, and if you want to try and crush the true spirit of ECW, well, that’s just fine with me because I came here for a fight!”

Big pop.

“Ah si, that is a great idea. Bueno! Tonight, Tommy Dreamer, you will face Big Daddy V. He will teach you that your fight is futile amigo, the death of ECW has already begun. Ah-ha!”

Estrada leaves the ring with Kane ahead of him following his every command. Dreamer has already reached the top of the stage and exits to the back, not quite pursued by a bear, although he’ll be facing the mass of one later tonight. Joey Styles apologises for any strong language telling us Dreamer’s history with ECW and his passion for it. Tazz admits he has a few strong words he would like to say to our ECW general manager after revealing he was behind Kane’s actions last night. Styles worries for their future as we head to commercial break.

—

Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox

Three weeks ago Mike Knox jumped Stevie backstage, and then one week ago Stevie got his retribution by attacking Knox in the canteen, so obviously they need to settle that beef in the ring! Tazz tells us that Stevie Richards may be on the wrong side of the weight advantage but that he can give as good as he gets, “and he has the experience” adds Styles. That size and strength advantage comes into play right away as Stevie gets shoulder charged right into the corner and Knox continues to drive the shoulder into Stevie’s abdomen. Richards ducks out of the way of a charging Knox and catches Knox with a few right hands before Mike stops selling and LARIATS HIS DAMN HEAD OFF. Picture-in-picture shows us that one again so Knox can lock in a devastating nerve hold. Richards manages to snapmare Knox out of the ring to buy him some time to recover but it’s all for nothing as Knox blocks a baseball slide, slams Stevie into the barricade, and then tosses him back in. Stevie feebly tries to fight him off but gets put away after a Knox Out (A swinging reverse STO for the more visual reader).

Winner: Mike Knox

The crowd are not happy about that as Knox shouts at Stevie that he told him, he told him what would happen if they faced off but he didn’t listen. He gets himself so wound up that he picks Stevie up and hits his finisher once more to make his point.

—

Tazz and Styles remind us of the Hall of Fame Class of 2008 and we get a brief recap package of the speeches and celebrations from that event. We see The Brisco’s telling us to enjoy the journey, Mae Young showing up on her hundredth birthday, The Rock inducting his father and grandfather, and finally, Ric Flair’s extended thank you speech from the Hall of Fame.

—

CM Punk vs Shelton Benjamin

Punk is out first and he grabs a microphone to congratulate Jericho on his victory in the Money in the Bank ladder match two nights ago. He thought he had the briefcase in the bag. He was that close. But that’s just how it is, all you can do is keep on going. He says last night on RAW he felt like he was “behind enemy lines” when Mr Kennedy attacked him to try to stay relevant. “A name many of us would like to forget but can’t seem to get rid of. Reminds me of something else…”. He says that Mr Kennedy won’t use CM Punk to make a name for himself again, he had his moment in the spotlight and he crumbled, and he can cling to whatever shreds of relevance he has left, Punk will keep on carving out a legacy as the best in the world at what he does, with Shelton Benjamin next on his list.

“Aint no stopping me, no!”

For a man that was toppled twenty feet off of a ladder in the ring through a ladder at ringside, Shelton Benjamin looks pretty damn good. Unfortunately, a combination of the damage done at the PPV to both men, and to Punk last night, means that this match is mostly spent trading headlocks, arm drags, and the indomitable SLEEPER. Shelton looks like he’s going to get the win by making Punk pass out but he channels the spirit of Hogan and rallies back! Punk dodges an enziguri attempt from Benjamin and nails the shining wizard! Punk tries to lift Shelton up for the Go To Sleep but he can’t manage it and Benjamin gets out and puts him down with a superkick. One..Two..KICK OUT! Shelton can’t help himself and he climbs to the top rope signalling for the 450 Splash, but he misses! Punk rolled out of the way. Shelton starts to roll to his feet but CM Punk nails a flying knee to the face!! 1...2…3…CM Punk wins!

Winner: CM Punk

Joey Styles is incredulous in the manner of which Punk won the match, thinking on his feet and pulling out a brand new finish when he wasn’t able to lift Shelton up. Tazz asks where the hell that one came from but Styles reminds us that Punk might have only made his debut in the WWE twenty-two months ago, he is a ten year veteran of the sport, and has a mixed martial arts background. Shelton’s reliance on his aerial game cost him here.

—

Always Check Your Calendar

After (ANOTHER!?) commercial break we join Tazz in the ring with Colin Delaney (formerly Olsen) and after Tazz recounts how amazing WrestleMania 24 was, he asks Colin what it was like to be there behind the scenes, even if he didn’t feature on it.

“Well, for once I didn’t get beat up! But erm, thats because I didn’t, you know, have a match. But next year, I’m going to be at WrestleMania, in a match, because I will have a WWE contract and I have worked really hard at this..”

Despite his nervousness the crowd is behind him, but Armando Estrada interrupts proceedings. He has clearly shaken off the confrontation with Dreamer earlier as he comes out alone.

“Espereté! Espereté!”

The crowd is already fed up with seeing him and welcome Estrada with a chorus of boos.

“Colin, have I got some great news for you amigo!” He goes on to say how Colin’s passion, drive, and fight have impressed him these last few weeks and he has truly proven himself worthy of a WWE contract.”

The crowd cheers that one and Colin looks absolutely delighted, turning with glee to Tazz who doesn’t quite share his optimism.

“Yes! Yes! That is why I have come out here tonight, in front of all of these people, to offer you your first official contract!”

Colin is overcome with emotion and hugs Tazz, unable to keep his emotions in check.

“Really? Really?”

“NAH! APRIL FOOLS Ha-ha!”

Estrada laughs cruelly at Colin’s devastation, but he quickly adds that whilst the contract offer was a joke, he can still earn himself a contract by winning a match. Estrada introduces The Big Show and the rather pale Colin Delaney goes sheet white.

The Big Show vs. Colin Delaney

“Wow. At WrestleMania it took Floyd Mayweather Jr., a seven man entourage, a steel chair, and brass knuckles to stop The Big Show. I don’t hold out much hope for Colin here as Big Show will undoubtedly still be annoyed after The Great Khali disrespected him last night on RAW.”

The bell rings and Big Show looks genuinely apologetic as Delaney can’t even bring himself to look his opponent in the eye. He turns to leave but Big Show stops him, shrugs, and then locks in the Cobra Clutch until Colin passes out. Thankfully for Colin this doesn’t last long and Big Show tosses Colin’s limp body onto the canvas below before leaving, taking no joy in the victory.

Winner: The Big Show

—

“Snow” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers is the official WrestleMania theme song and it segue’s us straight into a WrestleMania Recap segment. Cena pinned both Randy and HHH, Undertaker went 16-0, Jericho won MITB, and Shawn kicked Ric leading to his retirement send off last night on Monday Night Raw as we see Flair surrounded by his family and the entire locker room, cheering his name and thanking him for his service to pro wrestling.

—

Tommy Dreamer vs Big Daddy V w/ Armando Estrada & Kane

Estrada hasn’t had enough screen time tonight so he decides to accompany Big Daddy V to the ring, and Kane comes out to stand guard. Styles comments that it’s a sad state of affairs seeing Kane turned into a puppet and the ECW Heavyweight Title turned into a weapon against the brand it stands for, but Tazz tells him to quieten down lest Kane or Estrada hear him. Tommy Dreamer is out next to a big cheer as he charges the ring and tries to get on the front foot right away, throwing stiff hands and dodging the grasping hands of BDV. He succeeds in making this a hit and run feat, clearly having taken notes from Mayweather two nights ago, but when a second rope double axe handle fails to even stun the big man, Dreamer gets caught in a vice-like grip and casually thrown to the ground.

BDV takes it to Dreamer who just about manages to roll outside and dodge the intentions of Kane. The referee warns Kane to back off, “only the ECW title is defended in extreme rules, so Big Daddy V would be disqualified if Kane or Estrada lay hands on him.” Dreamer picks up a trash can from beneath the ring as Styles PRAYS he hasn’t just coaxed the curse of the commentator, but Dreamer simply throws it near BDV as a distraction to slide back in.

It doesn’t work.

BDV grabs Dreamer and continues where he left off, this time locking Dreamer in a bear hug and squeezing the life out of him.

“E-C-DUB!”. “E-C-DUB!”. “E-C-DUB!” rings through the arena as Dreamer tries to elicit a fight back. He stirs but BDV locks it in even tighter as the referee checks the arm. It drops once. Twice. Thr-NO! There is still some fight in the old dog yet! Dreamer elbows kicks and headbutts his way free of the hold and kicks the knee out. DREAMER DDT! but he can’t capitalise as the referee begins to count both men. Dreamer is up first and he looks to hit the DDT again but he gets shoved…RIGHT INTO REFEREE MICKIE HENSON!

BDV gets up and goes for the bearhug once more but Dreamer sees it coming and reverses it into ANOTHER DDT. Outside, Estrada checks on the referee before ordering Kane into the ring. Dreamer turns but only in time to take a big boot to the face. Kane adjusts his gloves and waits for The Innovator of Violence to get to his feet. CHOKESLAM. Kane looks to leave the ring but Estrada isn’t finished yet and he shouts at him to finish the job.

“ONE OF A KIND! HEY! HEY! HEY!”

“IT’S ROB VAN DAM!! ROB VAN DAM IS HERE!”

“But whose side is he on!?”

“This isn’t Bash at the Beach, Tazz.”

Kane throws Dreamer aside and waits for RVD but Van Dam is too quick for him and dodges him with ease. He hits a springboard side kick and follows it up with a Van Terminator (sans chair) that knocks Kane out of the ring. Estrada sneaks in with a chair and tries to attack RVD from behind but he is scouted and then this time we get a Van Terminator WITH the chair, knocking Estrada out unconscious. Dreamer rises and sees RVD and they share a handshake and a quick hug, but BDV is up and reunions will have to wait. A double clothesline from BDV misses both men and he finds himself attacked from all angles before dropping to a knee and struggling to fight his way out. DREAMER DDT levels him and he immediately turns to Van Dam and points to the top rope.

The crowd responds by almost everyone standing to attention as Rob Van Dam hope to the top rope, looks around as cameras flash and he leaps with elegant beauty onto BDV with a picture perfect Five Star Frog Splash. The referee conveniently starts to stir, “That’s an ECW referee Tazz, they’re made of strong stuff, but sometimes loyalty is the real measure of a man”, and as Dreamer makes the cover he counts 1…2…3. Tommy Dreamer wins!

Winner: Tommy Dreamer

Kane slides in to check on his boss so RVD and Dreamer take their leave and celebrate with the fans at ringside as Joey Styles goes wild over the return of Rob Van Dam to ECW. “Armando Estrada, you’re going to need to come at us harder than that if you think you can kill this spirit. Thanks for sticking with us folks; sometimes you cross a line you wish you hadn't, and Estrada has kicked a damn hornets nest here that will come back to sting him" as the show goes off the air.

—

Friday Night Smackdown - April 4, 2008

Excuse me..!

Michael Cole welcomes us to Friday Night Smackdown “and oh boy what a show we have in store for you tonight. Fresh off winning the title on Sunday, Matt Hardy will defend the United States Championship against Chuck Palumbo”. He’s not alone, unfortunately, as Coachman adds that “Not only that Michael but MY favourite tag team of The Miz and John Morrison face off against Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore”. Edge’s music hits and the Rated-R Superstar, freshly relieved of his World Heavyweight Title, makes his way to the ring flanked by La Familia, with Teddy Long and the wheelchair bound Vickie Guerrero in tow.

“I have never been more ticked off in my life!” Edge paces back and forth sweeping his hair out of his face looking very much the picture he’s trying to paint. “I stand out here and I feel naked!”

“Me too amigo! I know how you feel, Kane took advantage of me.” The crowd enjoys that one. “He cheated!” Hawkins and Ryder offer a show of sympathy and support to Chavo, reassuring him that he’s absolutely right.

Edge nods enthusiastically. “I hear you Chavo, I couldn’t agree more.” Vickie gestures for the microphone. “Ah, some words of wisdom from my beautiful fiancé.”

“Thank you Edge.” As Vickie takes the mic the noise of the crowd becomes deafening with hisses and chants of “Chavo Sucks” echoing around the arena. “Excuse me! Excuse me! I have something to say.” That doesn’t quite calm them down. Edge grabs the mic.

“You all need to shut up and show some respect to the most beautiful and powerful woman on Smackdown, neigh the WWE, NEIGH the world!” Vickie blushes and Edge points and chews out a random fan in the front row as she takes the microphone once again.

“As I was saying. As general manager of Smackdown, it is my duty, and…well…pleasure, to announce that at Backlash, Edge… you will get your rematch. The Undertaker will defend the World Heavyweight Title against Edge.” Edge grins and says he knew Vickie would have the master plan. “Not only that Undertaker, but there will be no disqualifications, anything goes, and when you lose, I’ll make sure you’re gone from Smackdown for good!” She smiles and the crowd almost riots at that announcement.

Chavo asks what about him but Vickie calms him down. She tells him that their focus needs to be on Smackdown and that his distraction with Kane and the ECW title needs to be put behind them. He is far from happy. “Instead…Excuse Me..! Instead, also at Backlash, Chavo Guerrero will wrestle for the United States Title. We already have the power, and after Backlash, we’ll have the gold too.”

The family celebrate in the ring, although it’s not lost on Hawkins and Ryder that there isn’t a title shot coming their way. Everyone’s spirits have been lifted except the audience, and Vickie isn’t done piling it on.

“Also, excuse me, I’m not finished…Tonight we will see brother against brother, champion versus soon-to-be ex-champion, as Kane takes on The Undertaker.”

Edge is almost dancing now he’s so happy. He takes the microphone once more.

“Oh I knew you’d turn it all around, you are an amazing woman. Undertaker, I’ll be coming to collect what’s mine, if you make it to Backlash.” The family laughs and Coachman says that whilst The Undertaker and Kane may be brothers, they fight like enemies, and tonight will be no different. 

—

Cole comments that Kane has been a different animal since WrestleMania alongside Armando Estrada and directs us to a video package of him destroying and eliminating most of the men in the pre-show WrestleMania Battle Royal before beating Chavo in eleven seconds at WrestleMania 24 to win the ECW title, which he promptly set on fire. All was revealed on ECW on Sci-Fi as Armando Estrada was the mastermind behind Kane’s actions with his intentions being to finish the ECW brand off once and for all. Tommy Dreamer took issue with that, as did Rob Van Dam who returned after almost a year away. What will happen next week!?

—

United States Title Match: Matt Hardy © vs. Chuck Palumbo

After the video package Palumbo is already in the ring waiting as the new US champion, Matt Hardy, makes his way to the ring. Matt was beaten by Randy Orton this past monday on RAW but put up a very good showing against the former WWE Champion. Chuck Palumbo was one of the unfortunate victims of Kane’s rampage in the battle royal, but he should provide serious competition for Hardy. Matt looks for a tie up but Palumbo overpowers him easily in what becomes a recurring motif countering Matt’s suplex attempts and then ragdolling him into the corner. Matt dodges a running boot and when Chuck gets caught up in the ropes Matt seizes the opportunity to strike at the knee and, as Coachman says, “chop that man down to size”. It works and the momentum of the match switches. In desperation Palumbo tries to hit a lariat but Matt dodges and hits the Side Effect for two.

Cole reminds us that Matt Hardy had been out of action for five months, and whilst the element of surprise had certainly worked in his favour against MVP, tonight was more about rediscovering that consistency that really defines a champion. Meanwhile Matt was busy making that a reality as he nailed a second rope leg drop followed, as ever, by the Twist of Fate and got the pinfall.

Winner: Matt Hardy

—

Festus w/ Jesse vs. Zach Ryder w/ Curt Hawkins

“You have to ask what these two have done to upset Vickie enough that they’d be fed to Festus in this way”

Festus, accompanied by Jesse, is as blank as ever.

“You’ve got it backwards Michael, these two have been learning and studying and absorbing all of the knowledge that Edge and Chavo Guerrero have to offer, and this is their chance to make their mark.”

Zach and Curt are next out as Curt hypes Zach up and tells him “you got this!”.

“Well, that’s true enough, and you saw earlier on their dismay at everyone else in the family getting title shots at Backlash except for them.”

“You just don’t understand Vickie’s plans.”

“DING DING DING!”

Cole tells us to “watch this” as Festus awakens from his slumber and begins wrecking the place. Zach can barely duck and dodge out of the way before he gets sent reeling with a clothesline all the way out of the ring. Curt looks on and gets a running shoulder tackle to send him flying into the barricade. Absolute top notch selling from Edge’s lackeys. 

“Still undefeated in the WWE is Festus, and you can see exactly why as he picks apart Zach Ryder”

“More like ran through him with a semi!”

Festus drags Zach back into the ring and unloads on him with rights and lefts and headbutts before grabbing him and LAUNCHING him with a fall away slam - Bradshaw still does it best. Curt looks hesitant but tries to distract Festus by jumping on the ring apron but he immediately gets sent flying, once again, into the barricade with a running tackle. Festus then turns back to Ryder and hits a MASSIVE sit out flapjack. The three count is elementary.

Winner: Festus

—

Don’t Call it a Comeback

MVP is backstage taping his wrists and adjusting his boots.

“Matt Hardy, I thought I was rid of you but you just refuse to listen. You never have listened to your body have you Matt? Throwing it off of ladders through tables, and for what?”

MVP takes his sunglasses off suddenly and stares intently into the camera.

“These fans don’t care about you Matt, they only care about who is the best… and that’s me. Next week I’ll show you what happens when you don’t get the chance to attack me before the match since I’m invoking my rematch clause for the title.

“I don’t want to wait until Backlash, that’s too long for this injustice to be allowed to continue. No Matt, cherish that title whilst you can because in seven days time, it’s coming home.”

He gets up and gets ready to head to the ring.

“But first, I’ve got a rookie to make an example of.”

—

Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Scott Colton

Colton must not have got the memo because he goes for a collar and elbow tie up but is met with a THUNDEROUS big boot to the head that rocks him hard. Big time clothesline follows and MVP is absolutely all over Scott Colton on his Smackdown debut. Colton does his best to try and fight off the relentless attack but to no avail as MVP sets him up and puts him down with The Playmaker. 1..2..3..this one is over. MVP looks down at his felled opponent and smirks, satisfied with his work.

Winner: MVP

“A strong performance and win for MVP tonight, but Matt Hardy is no rookie and their match next week could be even more explosive than their match at WrestleMania.”

—

It’s time for the obligatory WrestleMania recap! It covers events from the Smackdown perspective as The Undertaker was victorious over Edge for the World Heavyweight Title, Matt Hardy returned triumphantly to beat MVP for the United States Title, and The Big Show was knocked out - with the assistance of brass knuckles - by Floyd Mayweather Jr.

—

Kingly Merit

Michael Cole directs our attention to the titantron to a video that was posted on WWE.COM barely five minutes ago with William Regal announcing the entrants for the 2008 King of the Ring. Coachman asks why they aren’t getting a King of the Ring, which seems fair, so Cole tells him to shut up and watch.

William Regal appears on screen and seems to be seated at a rather posh restaurant. He directs a waiter to attend him and has a glass of wine poured before waving them off.

“Ladies and gentlemen, earlier today I made a decision regarding the upcoming King of the Ring tournament - exclusive to Monday Night RAW - that I felt I must make myself. It has been a tradition in the WWE for the past twenty five years, creating future superstars and catapulting their careers; many winners would go on to headline WrestleMania, I intend to uphold that tradition with the utmost respect and dignity, which is why this year there will not be a random draw from the entire roster.”

Despite being in a different city, Regal pauses perfectly to allow the fans to make their opinion known.

“Yes, as much as I enjoy the wild nature of it, I believe that the true heirs to the throne should earn their place by merit. After all, the winner will go on to face John Cena for the WWE Heavyweight Title at Backlash, and I want to crown the best of the best. Therefore, if you hold a RAW championship - no, sorry, not you John - you are eligible.” Another pause.

“That means Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly get entered automatically!” announces Michael.

“And Chris Jericho as the Intercontinental Champion is in too!” adds the Coach.

Regal takes a sip of his wine before continuing. “I spent a bit of time mulling over the final five entrants into the tournament and settled on the following…” Another sip. “Triple H, Randy Orton, Carlito, Umaga, and John Bradshaw Layfield. These five will join Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho and World Tag Team Champions Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes in the 2008 King of the Ring which will start next Monday, only on RAW.”

He motions for another waiter and signals for the camera to be switched off. Cole and Coachman say they may not have any vested interest in a RAW tournament to decide the number one contender, but they admit they will be tuning in. Cole adds that the final brackets will be revealed on monday night, and now it’s time to see the Tag Team Champions in non-title action against Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore.

—

Non-Title Match: The Miz & John Morrison © vs. Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore

The bell rings, and it's Shannon Moore starting off against John Morrison. The Shaman of Sexy poses and taunts but Moore gets it going with lightning-fast strikes, catching Morrison off guard. Morrison gets whipped into the ropes and sent reeling with a dropkick, sending Morrison reeling. The crowd gets behind Moore as he tags in Yang. Yang hits a series of kicks followed by a wrap around DDT, but Morrison kicks out at two. Morrison manages to tag in The Miz, who immediately targets Yang's arm, wrenching it with a hammerlock and when Yang tries to counter, Miz turns it into an arm wringer and slams the arm to the ground.

Miz and Morrison get to the heely teamwork, isolating Yang in their corner with quick tags and double-team moves. Moore’s complaints about a strict five count fall on deaf ears as they wear down Yang with a combination of strikes and holds focussed on the arm, cutting off the ring and preventing him from making the tag to Shannon Moore. Moore again attracts the attention of the referee as Miz and Morrison set Yang up for a top rope double suplex but he pushes both men off and hits a diving crossbody to clean them both out! The crowd erupts as Yang crawls toward his corner, desperately reaching out for the tag to Shannon Moore. Miz tries to cut him off but he’s too late and Moore comes in like a whirlwind, taking down both Miz and Morrison with dropkicks, clotheslines, and a hurricanrana that sends Miz to the outside. Morrison rolls out to check on his partner but that allows Moore to dive over the top rope, taking out both Miz and Morrison with a suicide dive. The crowd is on their feet as Moore rolls Miz back into the ring. He ascends to the top rope, looking for the Mooregasm, but Morrison pulls Miz out of harm's way at the last moment.

Miz gestures for them to grab their titles and leave since “it isn’t for the belts anyway, screw this match”, to which Cole says it’s not the first time he’s seen Miz like this when things dont go his way. Moore and Yang chase after their opponents and, after a bit of gentle persuasion, get them back in the ring. Miz catches Moore with the Reality Check out of nowhere! Miz goes for the cover, but Yang breaks up the pin just in time. The match descends into chaos as all four men trade blows in the ring. “This one is breaking down Michael!”

In the midst of the chaos, Miz manages to catch Yang with a low blow behind the referee's back, incapacitating him and tackling him out of the ring. The referee has no idea who the legal men are anymore, so when Morrison hits the Split-Legged Moonsault on Moore and makes the pin, the referee has no choice but to make the count. 1...2…3. Miz and Morrison secure the victory. Despite a valiant effort from Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore, Miz & Morrison prove why they're the reigning Tag Team Champions, picking up the win in a hard-fought contest.

“Yang and Moore may have come up second best against the WWE Tag Team Champions, but they gave a great account of themselves and have clearly made some improvements as a team as they almost had this one.”

“There’s almost getting the job done, and then there’s The Miz and John Morrison actually getting the job done, Cole.”

Winners: The Miz & Morrison

—

How to Kill a Deadman

Backstage, in a dimly lit corridor, Kane stands tall and imposing with the charred black ECW Heavyweight Title across his broad shoulders. Armando Estrada approaches him with a confident demeanour. The crowd immediately took issue with his appearance, especially at Kane's willingness to defer to him.

“Ah, Kane, my enforcer! Tonight is a night of great importance. We put behind us what happened with Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam”, Kane snarls at the mere mention of their names, “because tonight we strike fear into the corazon of The Undertaker, cementing an alliance that will put a stop to these ECW extremists that keep crawling out of the ground for one more minuto in the light before they are stomped like the bugs they are!”

Kane remains silent, his fierce gaze transfixed on Estrada.

“You see, Kane, The Undertaker is vulnerable. His aura of darkness can be exploited, his downfall is imminent. We will dissect him, piece by piece, until there is nothing left but a broken shell of his former self.”

“How?”

“How do you kill that which is already dead? That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die..but to kill a deadman, we strike not at the heart or the flesh, but at the legacy!”

Kane: And when…we…complete this task, what is in it for…us?”

Estrada's smirk betrays his satisfaction at Kane's compliance. “Al vencedor el botín hh-ha! To the victor the spoils.”

Kane nods in silent agreement as the scene fades to black.

—

Evan Bourne w/ Michelle McCool vs. Jamie Noble

Dressed in a sharp pinstripe business suit, Michelle McCool is in the ring with a microphone. She introduced her new talent agency ‘McCool Runnings’ - even having the logo appear on the titantron - and says “the future has never been brighter”. She beams and walks over to her young charge, telling us she is “proud to introduce to you our very first future star. The high-flying, gravity-defying, ‘Shooting Star’ Evan Bourne. The crowd gives him a decent reaction after that introduction. McCool tells us this is the start of a new era, starting with Jamie Noble. “Sorry Jamie.”

Noble has all the experience and was certainly an accomplished wrestler in his time, but the combination of ring rust and age quickly catch up with him as Bourne flies around the ring at a frantic pace and Noble can’t keep up with him. A cartwheel front kick and a running high knee take all of Noble’s momentum away allowing Evan to take control. He almost slips up and Noble nearly catches him with a school boy roll up for a long two count, but he recovers and when Noble reverses an irish whip into the corner, Bourne runs the turnbuckle and hits a moonsault press followed by a superkick for two. Noble is out and, after hitting a standing moonsault, Evan gets the pinfall and his first win in the WWE. McCool celebrates with her new acquisition in the ring. McCool Runnings is off to a winning start!

Winner: Evan Bourne

“What an impressive performance by the young Evan Bourne, some of those moves were incredible Michael!”

“You’re absolutely right. What an exciting young talent Michelle McCool has found and brought to the Smackdown brand.”

“McCool Runnings has a great ring to it too Michael, I’m a fan.”

“That’s not saying much. Anyway, next week right here on Friday Night Smackdown we will hear from Batista! Batista will join me in the ring to talk through his WrestleMania aftermath and what is next for The Animal.”

“Anytime Batista is here, you know sparks are gonna fly!”

“Spot on, Coach. Now, we’re not done yet so don’t go anywhere because we still have brother versus brother, champion versus champion...it’s The Undertaker versus Kane. Next.”

—

Non-Title Match: Kane © vs. The Undertaker ©

The atmosphere is positively charged (is that more charged than something negatively charged? Is it all the same? Anyway…) with tension as Kane, accompanied by Armando Estrada, makes his way to the ring with the charred ECW Heavyweight Title draped over his shoulder. Cole questions why Kane would align himself with Estrada but Coach reminds him that championship titles are hard to get and twice as hard to keep - aligning yourself with the man in charge is never a bad move. “I guess that’s why Vickie keeps rejecting your dinner invitations.” “How did you..nevermind.”

GONG.

The ominous presence of The Undertaker follows, his World Heavyweight Title gleaming despite the dimmed arena lights, a chill runs through the air as the deadman purposefully walks to the ring. The two brothers lock eyes. Kane is breathing hard whilst Undertaker just stares at his younger brother. Neither man flinching, neither man moving as the bell sounds. Kane seems to signal for a test of strength, but as Undertaker moves in to accept he gets rocked by a Big Red Right Hand and a jab to the throat. Kane works through his old school repertoire and keeps The Undertaker guessing and on his toes. A running DDT attempt by Taker ends up in a spinebuster, but he gets right up from it and starts unloading with rights (and lefts) of his own!

Taker goes to work on the arm of Kane to the dismay of Estrada who barks at Kane to get back up and finish him. A quick glare from the Undertaker stops him in his tracks and he pretends to be interested in something an audience member had to say. Kane uses this brief distraction to take the initiative, regain the advantage, and to shake off the damage to his arm. Estrada is much more pleased outside as he tells Kane to “break him”. Kane obliges.

“Un-der-Taker!” “Un-der-Taker!” “Un-der-Taker!”

The Phenom hears the rallying cries of his creatures of the night and he starts to fight back with a handful of elbows to Kane’s midriff before he ducks a big boot attempt and hits a running/diving lariat. Taker sets Kane up for a chance to go old school…”business is picking up!” and he lands hard on Kane’s shoulder and upper back. He stalks Kane and goes for the chokeslam, but Kane goozles him right back! It’s a standoff! Taker wrenches the arm of his brother and this time he has control! CHOKESLAM! Kane went for a ride. One..Two..KICK OUT. Estrada was almost ready to slide in but hesitated and wouldn’t have made it any way. Taker spots him but Estrada slides right back out.

Taker doesn’t let the distraction stop him and he signals that the end is nigh, hoping to put Kane away with the Tombstone. Kane fights back once more and a clothesline takes the two men up and over the ropes to the outside. Kane launches his brother into the ring post, the steel steps, and the barricade, enjoying himself now as he is in full control. Kane rolls Undertaker back in to finish the job BUT UNDERTAKER SITS UP! Kane cannot believe it and when he slides in he gets grabbed by the throat once more, CHOKESLAM! A second chokeslam on Kane!

That’s just the signal that La Familia needs and Hawkins, Ryder, Chavo and Edge charge the ring. Undertaker throws bombs dropping Ryder, then Hawkins, and then Chavo, but SPEAR drops him and the referee calls for the bell, ending this one in a DQ victory for Undertaker. Edge doesn’t care and he tells Estrada to get Kane to finish Undertaker with a Tombstone Piledriver. Kane obliges, dropping Undertaker with a Tombstone Piledriver. Edge looks to send a message and to further humiliate Undertaker as he drapes the World Heavyweight Title over his lifeless body.

Kane and Estrada take their leave as Edge and La Familia celebrate. Their deed is done.

“OH MY GOD! UNDERTAKER IS SITTING UP!”

Edge is the first to react and he flees the ring with Chavo following closely behind him. Hawkins and Ryder are not so lucky as Taker grabs them both as they realise what’s about to happen: double chokeslam! Undertaker isn’t done yet as he drops each one in turn with a Tombstone Piledriver of his own, sending a message of his own.

“Looks like Edge found out what happens when you push The Undertaker too far. Hell hath no fury like a Deadman scorned, and tonight, Hawkins and Ryder learned that the hard way. I can only imagine how badly he wants to get his hands on Edge after not only turning his brother against him, but trying to jump him from behind. If you thought this one was settled at WrestleMania, think again."

The show goes off the air as the crowd chants for The Undertaker who stands in the middle of the ring having endured an onslaught and came back fighting.

—