ECW Big Ass Extreme Bash: Philly 09.03.1996
Philadelphia, PA
ANGLE: Joey Styles is doing his usual show introduction in the ring, but Taz and Bill Alfonso interrupt him (Taz is not dressed to fight, as he's not on the card). Taz says that it disgusts him how ECW is celebrating the biggest weekend of its history, but forgets about him! He got rid of 911, destroyed Bam Bam Bigelow, beat 2 Cold Scorpio for the TV Title despite bad refereeing (we keep planting the seeds for that here and there), carried the Dangerous Alliance on his shoulders until Sabu decided to quit! And what does he get for that? He is denied title shots! He is left off cards! Tod Gordon arrives and begs Taz to listen, for once. He knows some of ECW's actions haven't been the best, but they had Paul E. to mentor him for a year, as star like Sabu to tag with him, several title shots to the TV Title, they even paid him while he had a broken neck! They invested money in Taz and he wouldn't damage his investments... but Taz is out of control! Since N2R, he has been on a path of rage and tonight there wasn't a match available for him, so he decided to keep him off the card, that is his personal choice. Taz pushes Gordon and screams for Sabu to come down to the ring, right now, so they can finally fight! Gordon says that Sabu is already facing 2 Cold Scorpio tonight, but Taz laughs and ponders to go backstage and break everyone's necks, so there will be no match tonight! At these words, Gordon instructs 6 security guys to circle Taz. One puts a hand on his shoulder and Taz suplexs him! Taz says he will destroy anyone who touches him and he's not leaving until he gets his money for the night (despite not being booked to fight). Gordon takes a bunch of money from his pocket and hands them to Taz and Fonzie, while he's red in the face due to anger. Taz and Fonzie leave the ring chuckling, while security follows them. Taz turns at one point and says that at the next show Gordon can either pay him to drop people on their heads or to do nothing, as he said... it's his personal choice! Gordon doesn't answer, while the camera film security escorting Taz and Fonzie out of the Arena (they will not come back tonight)
1. Rob Van Dam def. Chris Jericho (10 mins)
The infamous Cyberslam match is done here and nothing should really change excessively, but hopefully they would have a better night and put on a good performance. It is still a quite shortish match, because they were both a bit inconsistent before their career exploded, especially at limb work. Joey Styles remarks as they are both new faces for ECW and made a good impression so far, so this match could determine who is the breakout star of 1996. Jericho and RVD have an even match that could go both ways, but RVD wins debuting the rolling thunder and then with the split leg moonsault
ANGLE: Joey Styles interviews RVD and asks him about his match against Sabu, that has been announced for the next Arena show! RVD says that he's still new in ECW, he had a blast so far... but Sabu is different, he was trained by his uncle Sheik and so he always looked up to Sabu! They touched a few times during the tag match the night before and it felt special, so he can't wait to measure up with him and, of course, win the match! (they fought a couple of times in tiny indies before this, but it's still treated like a first time ever as nobody saw those matches)
2. Bubba Ray Dudley & Hack Myers (w/ Big Dick Dudley) def. The Headhunters (w/ Damien Kane) (5 mins)
After the Headhunters destroyed DW Dudley on the previous day, Myers steps up to help Bubba here (Joey Styles jokes about him being a half-brother too?!) and so the match was booked. The bout is short, as it won't be any good this time as well, but it gives Bubba something to keep establish him as a face and keeps some heat on the Headhunters as well. Bubba rolls up one of the Headhunters, after Big Dick uses his crutch on them, getting the 3 count
ANGLE: The Headhunters beat down the babyfaces... but the Gangstas return and clear the ring! This is the night where they turned face and cut the promo about New Jack's arrest, I am going to keep their turn as it was organic, but just changing one thing about New Jack's words: in real life, he mentioned getting arrested in Atlanta for beating up somebody that owed him money; good, keep that, but in my version he's upset at somebody snitching him to the police and leading to his arrest. While they were gone, the Headhunters have been trying to bring their hideous styles to ECW, but they want to fight them at the next Arena event and show them who's the baddest team in the territory! While they talk, JT Smith comes to the ring and, in his annoying and deluded way, tells the Gangstas that they are all brothers and paisans! JT is looking to expand his Italian family and Jacks says that both of them don't even remotely look Italian, but JT probably took too many shots to the head. JT pushes Jack, so The Gangstas hit a spike piledriver on JT!
3. Two out of Three Falls Match: Rey Misterio Jr. def. Juventud Guerrera (15 mins)
This is the last match in ECW for Misterio Jr. and Juvi in 1996 and I am definitely keeping it on the card, because they had a great one and their best one together here (this was the only time that they got close to matching the Misterio Jr vs Psicosis saga from 1995). While I haven't used them just one on one against each other at every turn, getting people like RVD involved in their feud, the blowoff needs to be like this and it was a good platform for them anyway. I am changing nothing about the match and the result, Misterio Jr. goes over 2-1 with that crazy reverse hurricanrana he did
4. Cactus Jack def. Mikey Whipwreck (13 mins)
Joey Styles confirms that this is Cactus' last ECW match and that the TV Title is not on the line on this occasion. Cactus gets a warm welcome, but Mikey seems quite tense and not jovial as usual, he probably took Cactus' heel turn worse than anyone else, even though Cactus always tried to keep Raven's group from hurting Mikey along the way. They had a very fun match at the show, so not only that is good to watch, but it's nice to close chapters and Cactus had many unsolved issues, so him facing Raven and Mikey on his last weekend has a good feeling to me. Cactus seems hesitant about piledriving Mikey, who slaps him demanding respect, so Cactus hits the move and then the elbow for the win!
ANGLE: Cactus gets Mikey up and hugs him. Mikey hugs him back after initial resistance. Cactus cuts his farewell promo, which differs quite a bit from the real life one: I'd like him to further give explanation on why he sided with Raven, saying he meant well, but he got tricked by a master manipulator and, while he might not deserve people's forgiveness, he hopes the fans appreciate his efforts and the way he took Raven to the limit. He is going now and, judging by his losses against Tommy Dreamer and Raven in the last single matches he had, maybe he's not able to hang with the newest hardcore generation anymore. Tommy Dreamer comes down, arm in a sling, and helps Mikey up. Cactus offers Dreamer a handshake and says that, while over the last few months they didn't see eye to eye, he recognised Dreamer's value before anyone else; while all the fans in the Arena were booing him in 1994, him and Terry Funk backed him up and helped him against Sandman. If Dreamer has forgiven Sandman, then he might also be able to forgive him. Dreamer shakes Cactus's hand and helps Mikey to the back, leaving the ring to Cactus for a final standing ovation. Now: tell me why you wouldn't want to close the circle with Raven, Mikey and Dreamer in Cactus' last weekend, but you rather him working with Jericho, wear a "sorry Uncle Eric" shirt (?!) that is so bush league level and strut with Stevie and Meanie (who are heels). WTF
Intermission
5. Shane Douglas def. Axl Rotten (6 mins)
We return with Douglas facing Rotten. They shake hands and Douglas wrestles a very clean bout, keeping Rotten on the mat, so Joey Styles remarks how Douglas has been driven to show his worth in ECW since his return, as things didn't go very well when he went to New York. He wants to show that he is still the Franchise. The match is not the longest, I have a full card and the point of this match is putting Douglas over. So, while Rotten looks somewhat competitive, he gets beaten by the belly to belly suplex and so Douglas goes over
ANGLE: Joey Styles interviews Douglas, who apologises for losing his temper against that idiot Brian Pillman yesterday. He has a big flaw: he is too passionate about what he does and sometimes he loses his cool. Douglas is confident that Sandman can win the belt tonight and, once the title is on somebody like him or Tommy Dreamer, he knows he can have his fair title shot without having to beat several lackeys along the way, like he had to do with Raven. But Brian Pillman comes to the ring, laughing his butt off! Pillman says that Douglas is so deluded: doesn't he remember how Missy Hyatt helped Sandman defeating him last night?! He thinks he would have a fair fight against Sandman?! This is not a fair world! Look at him: his best friend (Steve Austin) is in New York and his mentors are in Atlanta, yet... yet he is in this sh**hole tonight! This world is not fair, but he can help Douglas! Pillman explains that, once he agreed with Tod Gordon about coming to ECW, he asked for a title match like his buddy Austin... but not for the World Title, no, for the TV Title instead. He is sick and tired of hearing how the ECW TV Title is the best division in wrestling; he HATES Benoit, Guerrero and Malenko because, once they got to Atlanta, people immediately put them over him... even aftet he busted his ass in Atlanta for so many years! That is why he came to ECW: to show that he can hold that title, win it, crush that division. So, at the next Arena show, Mikey's ass is all his. And, after he wins the title, he can give Douglas his "fair title shot" if Douglas has the bal** to fight him! Pillman leaves and Douglas seems surprised and torn (I mean, you can either do that or make Pillman lock up with a giant pencil WTF again)
6. ECW World Tag Team Titles Double Blood Match: The Eliminators (c) def. The Pitbulls (w/ Francine) (11 mins)
So, this is the blowoff of the feud, that gained more heat during the previous 24 hours as the Pitbulls have shaved Saturn's head now. Joey Styles points out that it's not an elimination match, it will be a 2v2, but a team will win the bout once both members of the other duo are bleeding. It's not the greatest stipulation, but it's something different and it puts over the Eliminators' ruthless streak, that has only increased since they turned on Jason. Saturn and #1 bleed first, as they bled the night before and so their stitches get reopened during this match. Then, while the Pitbulls try to superbomb Saturn, Kronus hits #2 on the head with one of the belts. #2 superbombs Saturn but, when he raises his head, the referee sees the blood and so the Eliminators retain!
7. Sabu def. Too Cold Scorpio (17 mins)
They had an amazing match series right around this time and my frustration with it (even though the matches were pretty great) was that all matches ended in a time limit, so Sabu never won the TV Title, but Scorpio never got over on Sabu either. So, what was the point of it? Look, if you don't want to put Scorpio over Sabu is fine, either don't do the match or don't do it for the belt. This was a very good attraction for this weekend so I am jumping on it, as the last match between them in my history is from the summer of 1994. They go for almost 20 minutes and Scorpio gets to look almost like a peer to Sabu, but at last he loses to the arabian facebuster. During the match, Joey Styles mentions how thankful he is that Taz is not in the Arena to spoil this
8. ECW World Heavyweight Title: Raven (c) (w/ Kimona, Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie) def. The Sandman (w/ Missy Hyatt) (8 mins)
In real life, Raven had an injured foot and so this match was smoke and mirrors, thanks to a lot of overbooking, all the lackeys interfering, the valets catfighting and a limited time on the clock. Which is great, because not only that fits Sandman and an injured Raven, but this is the first match of a looooooong series between the two and so I don't want them to use all of their tricks in one go, as it's a first time ever anyway in my rewritten history. I'd change pretty much almost nothing about this, as it was so quick and unoffensive: Raven struggles due to his foot (so one wonders how this match would have played out without injuries), Sandman murders all the lackeys, but Raven hits that awesome DDT on the guardrail and manages to retain the title
ANGLE: Raven grabs Missy and tells his lackeys to finish both Sandman and Missy, so they won't bother him anymore! But both Dreamer and Beulah come out! Beulah hits Kimona and Meanie with a cookie sheet, while Dreamer DDTs Stevie. Raven is by himself, limping on his bad foot and kneels to Beulah, asking for forgiveness... But she slaps him! Dreamer takes off his sling (meaning that he's enduring the pain, not that his injury is fake) and grabs Raven by his hair, like Raven would do with Beulah... Tommy DDTs Raven on the guardrail, completely breaking it! Dreamer tells Raven that the war has just begun! Dreamer accepts a beer from Sandman, while they celebrate with Beulah and Missy!